PetRaP

A year... THE year.

2011-11-08T21:57:00.005+02:00

Still quite small here -
the twins in a single babysitter.

It has been almost a year since the last post. The time has gone by so fast - and so slow at the same time. I have been busy, done a lot, accomplished very little and learned just to survive from moment to moment. The months have passed quickly, the minutes and hours - at times - very slowly...

The wonderful twins, named Vili Anttoni and Timna Karissa, are such sweet bunches of joy. They make every day worth living. However, it has not been an easy path up to this day.

First two months they spent in the NICU and we were there as much as we could. After we finallly got our whole family home, it was only some weeks that our much loved briard (dog) suddenly became very ill. We found out that he has suffered from a cancer (he had shown no signs what so ever) and there was nothing that could be done for him. So he had to be put to sleep. It had been less than 12 hours before his death that he had been barking and guarding the goats outside... The tears still fill my eyes, even now, as I miss him so much. Beni was the most amazing dog there is - and there has been times in my life that he has been one of the greatest reasons I thought I even should keep on living. Must sound strange to some, but that's how it was at one point.

Beni loved the twins. He stayed by them all the time.
Too bad, we did not know how little time he had left and did not take many pictures of them together.

The winter and early spring went as if in thick fog.

Vili was really ill and suffered from great pain in his stomach. It was really hard to watch him suffer when no help seemed to be available. I have mixed feelings towards the hospital and its staff in this issue. Some seemed to try to help and took us seriously. However, quite a few times I was treated as if I were just a tired mama who could not handle her baby's normal cry. Finally, they found out that Vili has severe milk allergy. It took too long to come to the conclusion, and Vili had stopped nursing (my milk had probably hurt him!) and was set behind in his physical development. He was so much behind that they suspected he might have CP! Since his allergy has been gotten under control, he has been catching up with great speed and an ultra sound of his brain showed no sign of any injury. The doctor who did the scanning was silent after the scan for quite a while and finally said, "this boy must have been terribly ill."

The more the twins learned to move
on their own, the more they began
being in contact with each other.

Timna never learned to eat from a bottle, so I have been breast feeding her all this time. She got home from the NICU with naso-gastric tube to help with her feeding, as she was still too weak to nurse all she needed. We also had an alarm system with us from the hospital so that we would notice if her saturation levels dropped while we were sleeping. She was very clingy and needed a lot of holding and carrying as well. So most of the time we both, Roope and I, walked around wrapped in a baby sling - one baby for each. Multiple times I have rejoiced of our country's social security system that allows dads also to stay at home for some weeks to take care of babies when twins are born.

I have not too many clear memories from that time - however, I am glad we have tons of pictures. :D

It was a HOT summer. Most of the days the twins spent naked or just a diaper on playing on the floor .
And they took their naps right at the same spot - as the best fan in the house blowed some air right there. :)

Summer came. It was one hot and lonely summer. Roope worked through it and I was stuck at home with the twins. We used to have two cars, but not so anymore this summer. So, I could not go anywhere and most people had already seen the "curiosity twins" and visitors became more rare. Everyone is so busy with their own life and we live far from everybody. The twins were fun to watch and I loved every minute with them, especially now that Vili was not ill all the time, they both had room to grow and flourish. :) However, there were times I could have used some adult company. I had to face the fact that even tho I know many people, and I have some people in my life I can call friends, they all either live too far away or are too busy... I have had to learn to survive with the feeling of being lonely.

In the middle of everything else, we saved five

great tit babies that jumped out of their nests

because it was too hot there. First we tried

putting them back, but they kept coming out,

so we took them in and took care of them

until a bird expert took them. All five survived

and were successfully returned back to nature.

So that this lonely summer had not been too easy, we lost another of our dear pets. Our gorgeous Clydesdale mare, Clara, became wery ill. First it seemed she had "only" boils in her front hooves and an infection that could be treated. For 2 ½ weeks Roope took care of her day and night (luckily he was off the work)... trying to lower her fever by hosing her with cool water (it was an awfully hot weather that time), massaging her sore muscles, force feeding her flax seed porridge (to protect her stomach from the ill effects of the medicine) and rapeseed oil (to help her not to loose too much weight), cutting and carrying to her green grass and herbs so that she'd eat at least some, changing poultices in her hooves... Just to find out that she had boils in all four feet and those boils had destroyed her hoof structure in all of them in such way that there was nothing to do to help her. The day before it seemed she was getting her spirits up and she tried to stand a bit and go grazing... but it was just vain hope by the help of the strong pain killers. She had to be put to sleep. And I cry again writing this...

One of the last photos of Clara still alive.
With boils in her hooves, she had to be sedated so they could pull her down
and treat her hooves.
She was not able to stand holding one hoof up, so sore she was...
2½ weeks from this she was dead...

Our donkey, Pelle, cried after his best friend. The donkey watched this great horse being buried and stood at the yard calling to the direction of the grave for days after she had died. He became depressed and tried to come into the house. We had to work out something - and almost as if given by God, we found him a companion. Little pony called Lordi. The pony's best friend, a goat, also moved to us and they added some life to the yard. I have had too little time to befriend these new additions to our flock - I wish to be able to do more things with them as the twins grow a bit more.

At the end of the day - something still going on between the two
even the parents think they are ready for bed in their night overalls.

In some ways this has been an awful and very difficult year, a lot of deep buried pain has burned my heart. The way the twins were born was traumatic, now I can admit it. It has been terrible to be treated as over-reacting when my child was truly ill. It was tiring to be needed by Timna so much that I could not leave the children even for a little while. It was heartbreaking to bury dear animal friends. It has been awful to feel so lonely.

Yet, it has been the most amazing year ever. I have survived all those sad and hurting things, we have overcome, we have stayed together as a family, we are alive and hoping for better times. And the most awesome two little creatures live in our house. The twins, Vili and Timna, are just amazing. They learn new things all the time and have so much fun doing so. Their smiles light up the darkest days - and even early mornings are fine with me, when they wake me up.

Vili enjoying dad's best babysitting tric:
a whole box of toys poured on a floor.

One more story before bed?
Timna seems to ask

It could have been worse...

2010-12-11T12:26:00.001+02:00

The twins were born November 29. at 0.58 and 1.00 AM. First was the boy, 1420 g, then the girl, 1485 g. There was no time to measure how tall they were at birth. After a few days they were 39,5 cm (the girl) and 40 cm (the boy). Babies were almost 2 months premature and will stay in NICU for quite a few weeks. That's the news. Wanna hear the long story? If so, keep on reading.

Our son, Vili, about 12 hours of age.

Our daughter, Timna, about 12 hours of age.

It was Friday November 27. when I thought I had caught a stomach flu. The day before I had visited the mothernity clinic in a local hospital. All was well with the pregnancy. My blood pressure was a bit high - as it had been during the whole pregnancy. Doctor gave me a prescription for the medication I already had used - now with a higher dose. Next appointment was to be after three weeks. So, I was not worried. However, I did call a nurse and told her my symptoms. She agreed that is sounded like a stomach flu.So I rested the day. In the evening I could eat again and the episode seemed to be over.

Next day I went shopping. I was feeling totally fine - puffy and swollen, yes, but that's how it had been for some time already.

Sunday morning came. It was the first advent Sunday when people sing "Hosanna" in churches here in Finland. We left for the morning service and after that went to eat out with my in-laws and some friends. When we got home, I had a little nap and left for a friend. We had what's called a "little Christmas party" here in Finland. Some women from the church gathered together to celebrate the Christmast time. All was just fine until it was the time to eat. I had nausea, but decided to eat little anyway. I blamed the lunch we had had and decided to pull it through without much hassle. However, my plan did not work; I ended up vomiting in the toilet and drew plenty of attention... Few people got really worried, I tried to assure them that I was fine.

During the evening I had said jokingly to an another pregnant woman, who was due in few days, "tonight is a good night to give birth." I also worded my wish that our babies would not be born in December (as I am) - meaning that I'd hope them to make it to January... I guess one needs to be more exact in wording their wishes - you might get what you ask for. :D

While I drove home, I got a bit worried myself. A friend, who is a nurse, had been really worried about me when I left, so I decided to call another friend who is a doctor. She sounded a bit worried as well, but because I had no other symptoms but the nausea, she suggested that I'd just rest and if other problems rose (headache, problems with vision, upper stomach pain...), I should leave for the hospital. However, something - maybe it was the nurse-friend's worry - made me think of measuring my blood pressure. 209/119 was the highest measurement I was given - additional times gave me an error-message. That is bad. Really bad. So, I phoned the hospital. They told me to pack and come over for a few days, so they could follow how things are developing. I asked if we should hurry - and the answer was "no". So Roope took time to feed the animals and I packed some stuff taking my time. Right after I had called the hospital, phone rang; the doctor-friend had become worried and questioned about my blood pressure and was happy to hear that I was about to leave to see a doctor.

When we left, I vomited just before entering the car. Then the head ache began. A bit later I began feeling as if someone tightened a belt around my upper stomach. It was about 10 PM when we got to the hospital. When we got in, the nurse welcoming us took a look at me and seemed quite worried. First, we took the heart rate of the babies. It took a while to find the other one and I found no comfort even the nurse said it is normal that it takes a while to find the beat. However, babies' hearts sounded ok. They drew some blood from me, in order to run some laboratory tests. The doctor came at some point to check me. Blood pressure was still that super high. I was given some pills, which I vomited right after. So, I got another pill, chewable one, for the blood pressure. While waiting for the lab test results, the babies were checked with ultra sound. And they seemed to be ok.

After my lab results came, the doctor was ready to send me to the mothernity ward for monitoring. The mid-wife/nurse questioned her and suggested another set of lab tests. We were lucky that the doctor was the kind who can accept advice. They took another set of blood and we went into a dim lighted room to wait. My reflexes were over-reacting when tested. That, they told us, was not good. And we waited. And waited.

When the test results came, it was about midnight. The doctor told that we'd leave for a C-section right away. She returned to speak a few words with Roope while I was already wheeled in my hospital bed to the operating room. My husband was told that the babies were ok, they had nothing wrong. It was the wife who was in a life threatening situation... I had a massive pregnancy poisoning that had appeared and forwarded really fast. I was at the edge of cramping and it was not certaing that the veins in my head could handle the blood pressure and the operation... I had no clue that it was I who was at the edge of life and death. I was worried about the babies and could not figure why we had to go into C-section, as they had seemed to be ok. But I trusted my doctor and did not question their choises.

Before they began operating, I was promised that I'd be shown my babies - even only very shortly. However, that did not happen. I only heard the calls, "A-baby, 0.58, a boy" and "B-baby, 1.00, a girl". I heard how the lungs were suctioned and I heard both babies cry loudly... but not a glimpse... That was scary - they had promised...

But how wonderful can it be, when someone does more than required! The fairly young, male anesthetist came to me with his cell phone. He had gone after the babies, taken a picture with his mobile and showed me a photo of the two little tiny babies with hats on and people taking care of them. The photo was very small and the babies in it only a few millimeters... but they were my babies. No words can tell how much it meant for me that he had done such a thing! How did he even THINK of taking that photo?

I was then sewn togehter and taken into a intensive care unit in order to be monitored over night. Roope was given a chance to go and see the babies first and then he came to see me. He had been so worried - yet, he did not tell me yet, how serious it had been.

Early next morning I was told I'd be trasferred shortly to a mothernity ward. Around 9 AM, the doctor (the one who had taken the photo for me) came to see me and asked how the babies and I were doing. He took an interesting look at the nurse, when I answered that I had had no news about the babies yet. The nurse vanished quite quickly - and right after the doctor had left, she returned to tell that they had called NICU and that babies were fine. From that moment, it took about two hours and I was at the mothernity ward - and shortly after, I finally was taken (in a bed) to see the little ones.

Here you do not see the pause I had in writing... thinking of that moment... no words for it. *sigh*

Vili and Timna, 10 days old, together for the first time since the womb...

They were so small, yet they did not look as bad as I had feared. Actually, even with the puffiness and machines, they were the most beautiful little creatures in my eyes. Vili, our son, had a few monitors, cannulas and CPAP (kind of "whiskers" in the nostrils that provide pressure for the lungs to keep them open) to aid with breathing. Timna, our daughter, was doing a bit worse and she had needed a ventilator, the tube going through her nose into her lungs. But they were alive. They were beautiful. And they were being taken care...

It was only in that afternoon that I realized how close to death I had been. However, before that I had already heard that it could have been much worse. After the birth they had found that Timna's umbilical cord was attached to the placental membrane. That is something that could not be diagnosed before birth, as it does not show in a ultrasound... As fas as I understand, the worst case scenario is that the umbilical cord could have ruptured in the womb, meaning death for all of us. In the best, it would have hindered her growth and we would have ended in C-section before it was too late. Another chance yet is that the babies could have been full term and while giving birth the cord would definitely have been torn and Timna would have suffered from a serious lack of oxygen, leading to a serious brain injury.

So, I must humbly admit again, Someone knows better. And that Someone is watching over my little babies and He is able to take much better care of them than I am. I will do my share. My husband does his. The multitude of family and friends are supporting us and praying for the little ones. The hospital staff is working hard and doing all that is possible in the medical terms. But in the end, only God KNOWS and His choises we should trust.

Awful things to say to a childless woman, parts 1 and 2

2010-11-07T20:05:00.000+02:00

Warm thank you to Anniina who added her thoughts to the last post and opened her heart as well!

Seems like I have this need to write out some things I have heard and experienced these past few years. Maybe it is a part of the process where I struggle myself out of the self-image of a childless woman - or maybe it is just a way I need to vent my feelings after so many years of keeping everything locked inside. Again, the aim is not to offend anyone, rather, to offer a glimpse of that reality some of us live in. Other people have other kinds of problems, but one can learn about those in other blogs. :) Mine is only a narrow view of life - but it is one true kind of view, among other views. My view is that of a someone who is married and childless, and whose husband agrees in wanting children... things I write about do not necessarily apply to someone who has not even married or someone who might have married a man who does not want children even if the wife does. Or someone who just thinks differently. And that's totally ok. However, here are some of my thoughts.

So, part one.Awful things a total stranger can say.

This happened a few years ago. I was spending an afternoon at a friend's house. Her mother-in-law dropped in to bring something, I cannot remember what it was. At first, she was ok, chatting this and that, everything seemed just normal. Then my friend's pre-teens walked inside and the lady asked me if my husband and I had any children. "No, not yet, at least", I answered. Now, having met me less than ten minutes ago, this woman began lecturing me on how I am too old to wait anymore, I should not be so career-oriented (?? As far as I know, she did not even know what my job is!!), nor should we think only about finances, etc. etc. I was stunned - for a little while. This time I succeeded in opening my mouth. I looked straight into her eyes, smiled and said, "You know, we have not been able to have children, as much as we have wanted to. And this is a very personal and very painful matter to me." She shut up. Did not apologize, but at least she shut up. My friend said later, that she was glad I had answered that way. This woman is known of her unthoughtful comments. Later on I have found her to be quite nice, and this incident has not hindered our communication, whenever we have shortly met. But it did hurt. It must have hurt more than I though, as I still remember it so vividly.

And what makes it worse, all those things she said are among the most common things people say when they gossip about childless couples in general. I happen to know quite a few couples that have been labeled selfish and greedy, because they did not "want" to make children - all at the same time as they have been spending a vast amount of money trying to get all possible help there is available to become pregnant.

Part two. The most awful thing a friend can say.

This incident is something that has hurt more than words can ever tell. Sure, I later received an apology and a plea to forgive and forget. Forget... I have not been able to. Forgive, well somewhat. :) And she knows it, I have admitted that getting over it will take both time and effort. This was said by a friend who at the time meant a lot to me. Nowadays she has dismissed me from her life for other reasons... but that would be another story altogether.

So, what is the worst thing one can say to a childless friend?

This person is a VOLUNTARILY childless woman herself. And she knew that we have been wanting children all the time we've been married. However, she always feels "left out" when her friends have children and they are not available to her to the extent they were before. So, she told me, blunt out, "I am praying that you will never have any children, so you will not leave me as well."

WHAT? So that I could be her friend, my husband and I need to have the greatest sorrow in our life I can imagine? She was not joking, she was serious! And what makes this all the worse, the word "pray" is not a casual word for her, used in exchange for hoping something, but she is a woman who is considered being a strong believer and a full-heartedly serving the Lord. So, she has been PRAYING against all our own prayers and hopes - to contradict everything we want and hope, so her will be done.

Sure, I know, such a prayer is not able to hinder God from doing His work. There have been many others who have prayed WITH us. But a friend saying such a thing... I have no words to express how deep of a wound that made in my heart. A few years passed and she told she had changed her prayer and she truly hoped we'd have children. I know she said what she did out of her own perspective. She felt left out, even life without children is her own choise. She feels her friendships do not "stay the same" when her friends have children, and she is unable to handle the situation - I guess it was her way to say how much she, back then, wanted us to stay friends. But there was no comfort for me in those words at that time; her (or anybody else's) friendship could never make up the loss I felt, if we could not have children.

I have been fairly lucky, maybe because I have also been relatively open about our situation, that not that many people have allowed this kind of frogs out of their mouth - at least not very often. Sadly, it is very common for childless couples to hear and face similar thoughts and words quite often.

So many of us know people who casually say, "now you have only the easiest part to do to have a real family; make two children." There are people who tell us animal-loving childless people, "you should make children, so you did not have to have so many pets." (And equal amounts of people think we will now give up all the animals when children arrive...) There are those who ask you to be God-parents to their children with a remark, "as you have no children of your own, we thought you'd be able to spend more time with our child." At work you are told, "as you have no children, surely you volunteer to work during the holidays?" Your friends and relatives cancel already set dates (even with a very short notice) because someone with a child has told they'd come to visit just at that time - and "you would not want to disappoint the child, would you? Surely you understand, even you do not have children of your own?" These are just a few among many comments people so lightly make. If you see nothing wrong with such remarks, think again.

Another post on being childless - even while pregnant

2010-10-30T21:52:00.000+03:00

Yes, the pets are our babies as well... :)

28 weeks of pregnancy already behind. Makes it all seem brighter, doesn't it. There is a good chance that the babies would survive, even if they were born right now. And every day adds to the possibility that they would end up being just fine. So, I am glad and hopeful and we rejoice of the fact that our babies seem to do well.

However, I wish I do not sound bitter, I am having plenty of dissonant thoughts.

I am so happy and grateful for all the people who have really supported us and rejoiced with us about these babies. Especially with other mothers - old and young - I feel like I have entered some kind of amazing universal sisterhood. And it feels good, it sure does! However, at the same time there is this childless woman in me, no matter how pregnant I am. The childless-me ponders: "so this is what I have been missing out all these years..." And that part of me weeps with all the other women who still struggle with the process of whether they will have a child or not... and with those who already know, they will never have a child of their own. Of course, there are those who chose it to be that way, and that's ok. But there are so many who did not choose that fate.

With these thoughts I feel like I belong to two groups: mothers and unvoluntarily childless women. And at the same time, I feel I do not belong to either one of them. I am about to have two children - so, I do not dare to call myself childless. I have no clue what a woman has to go through after the final verdict, "you will never have a child", has been said. Nor can I enter the starry-eyed group of happy mom's who took it for granted that they'd have their share of babies. I am somewhere inbetween, with the other moms who have experienced the same: having a child does not heal you from being childless. As strange as it may sound.

Maybe it is because of this in-between-feeling that makes me somewhat touchy about some comments people make. So often I do not even find the words to answer their remarks (I know, it's hard to believe that I may end up being speechless :D at some situations...) and then I keep up entertaining the "should-have-said-dialog" in my head for days and weeks after.

For example, this one lady we know from the church, was very happy to hear we are expecting babies. We met her at a parking lot by a local store and she congratulated us fullheartedly. She knew about our history of wanting children for a long time, and she asked if these were IVF-children. That question is an easy one for me to answer, I do not care telling. Many find that question in itself offending. However, as I know how many feel about asking such a thing, I was not happy about the casual way she chatted about it. Right after she went on and asked us: "are the babies made of your own stuff or did you use a donor?" I was stupified. WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? Yes, they happen to be made of our own "stuff", but even if they were not, did she really think I would tell it there and then to her??? That is not something you ask casually. That is not something you ask AT ALL. If someone wants to share, they'll tell you when they want. With a faltering tongue I just answered, "they are out of our own cells." My husband was more at the point, laughed and said, "no, we asked N.N. (a name of a common male friend) to help out a bit."

And since that I have thought of a million things I should have said. I should have told her how I felt and how one should talk to people who have gone through similar things we have. I doubt she will ever end up reading this blog, but in case I am wrong, I want her to know, I am not angry at her. I just wish I had told her (and doubt I will ever have the guts to go and do so anymore...), and to make up my failure to "educate" her, I share this with all of you who might read. :D

Järjettömän hyvä näkkäriresepti

2010-10-27T05:49:00.001+03:00

Jotakin piti tehdä - ja tein näkkilepiä. Kauneutta niille ei siunaantunut, mutta uskomattoman HYVIÄ niistä tuli.

Tarkoituksena oli saada näkkärit valmiiksi ennen kuin Roope tulee töistä, mutta se ei aivan onnistunut. Luulin nimittäin Roopen pääsevän vasta tuntia myöhemmin, mitä hän oikeasti pääsi. :) No, tuoksu sentään oli jo vastassa, eikä kauaa kestänyt siihen, että ensimmäisiä leipiä rouskuteltiin. Kunnolla nuo eivät kyllä ehdi kuivamaan, tulevat nimittäin varmasti syödyiksi melko reippaaseen tahtiin.

Jos jotakuta innostaa kokeilla, niin tässäpä on ohje. Jostain sen pohjan löysin, mutta muuntelin sitä heti oman mieleni mukaan. Tee sinä samoin, jos siltä tuntuu.

Ruis-speltti-näkkileipä
½ dl sulatettua voita
1½tl suolaa
1 rkl juoksevaa hunajaa
2½dl kylmää vettä
1 dl speltti mannaryynejä
2 dl ruisjauhoja
3 dl vehnäjauhoja

Sekoittelin ainekset tuossa järjestyksessä muovikulhossa, ensin lusikan avulla, sitten käsin taikinaa vaivaten.Taikinasta tulee todella tiivis pallo. Siitä sitten vain kaulimaan todella ohkaisia levyjä. Itse yritin hienostella painelemalla muodon luun muotoisella piparimuotilla ja kuvioimalla pintaa lihanuijalla. 25 luuta ja koirille pienet maistiaiset, sen verran taikinasta tuli.

Paistaminen tapahtui reilu 220 asteisessa uunissa 7 minuutin ajan. Sitten jäähdyttelin leivät korissa avoimen ikkunan äärellä (kun oli kiire päästä syömään).

Näitä söi isäntä, näitä söi emäntä ja koirat valuttivat kuolaa (ja saivat maistiaiset) kohtuullisen paljon vieressä.

Blabber...

2010-10-26T13:14:00.001+03:00

It was snowing this morning. Actually it would have been really beautiful - if I just could have enjoyed it. We have quite a few things we still need to get done outside before the winter comes in its full force, and therefore I spent the morning hoping it won't snow too much and that the snow would not stay for too long.

But it WAS a beautiful morning. After a while the snow stopped falling and we went outside to take care of the animals and to do a few other things. The light was amazing and I even thought of getting the camera out - but it was only a thought. The chores took over and I forgot about admiring my surroundings. In the afternoon, however, the camera finally got out, as we saw a woodpecker doing her job in a nearby birch. The tree she was working on is one of the high nearby birches that were scorched by lightning last summer.

As I was guessing the last time I wrote, the days at work were almost done. On the 25. week of pregnancy the doctor wrote me 1 ½ weeks of sick leave because of sciatica (I guess that is the right word for this kind of pain in my back) and contractions. The latter have not been very painful nor very strong - however, they clearly come always after I have been up and about too much. After that 1 ½ weeks I had another doctor's appointment - and that doctor wrote me off work until the mothernity leave begins. The reasons still being the same and adding high blood pressure to the list. Other than these minor problems, everything is just fine.

On Saturday evening I had a chance to go and listen to VIP (their myspace page, if youd' like to listen something) playing at Ilmajoki, a small city some 40 km from us. It was nice to see Roope and his band on stage after a long time. So many times they have had their concerts so far away from here that I have had to stay at home - or I have been working if they have played nearby. I must admit that I do really enjoy their music. Even I DID feel a bit old there among all the young people. Hey, it's hard to admit, but I surely am not anymore among the target audience of a youth event...

Nowadays I do very little. If I try to accomplish too much, it is felt as a pain in the evening and the next day. So I try to get things done VERY little at the time and try to forgive myself for just resting and napping and resting some more. Such life allows one to do a lot of thinking. However, most of the thoughts circle around the babies and the things they need. I am becoming very boring regarding the topics I entertain in my mind...

Today

2010-10-04T17:40:00.001+03:00


September morning 7.30 AM - I was going to work and the morning fog made everything beautiful.

First of all, THANK YOU everyone for all the comments and thoughts you have shared with me. I was surprised to find out how many people actually DO end up reading this blog. Thanks for the e-mails and honest sharing. We really do not know that much what happens in people's lives, do we? I feel honored that so many shared their thoughts in private mails with me after the last posts! Thanks for the comments here as well. :) They are equally valued.

And then a message to -J-
Jos tänne joskus uudelleen eksyt ja koska olet varmaankin se ihminen, jonka luulen sinun olevan, niin olisin todella ilahtunut, jos joskus kuulisin sinun elämäsi uutisia. Siitä on jo todella kauan, kun viimeksi kuulin sinusta mitään. Toivottavasti kaikki on hyvin ja olet onnellinen! Minut löytää täältä ja Facebookista ainakin. :)

Now, today's news.

I must admit that I count days and weeks. Full 24 weeks of pregnancy is behind just today. I feel like a medium size elephant and expect to grow into a full size blue whale. However, I have been doing really well and have been able to keep working. Until last week, that is. Twice there has been a day that I could not even stand, let alone walk, well without pain. Both times the previous day was a long day with lot of standing. Seems like my days at work are almost done for now. Today I have a day off, that is brilliant.

I wish I could tell about many things I have done lately. Maybe share a few deep thoughts I managed to dig out of my brain - but I can't. I am all about being a pregnant woman, thinking of the two babies growing inside. I find it a bit disturbing that all my thoughts linger around this one and only topic, all my worries have to do with how we'll manage our lives with the babies, how shall we run things and how will it be.

As there isn't much that I can think of saying. Let me show you some pictures of our life. Hope you see something you like!

Roope had a true dream holiday this summer. He had this... eh, is it a backhoe?... machine for two weeks and was able to dig holes, move dirt, and do, well, all kinds of things in our yard.

Thank you IKEA for making green cribs - I did not have to paint them. We bought these and some other stuff on our trip to Southern Finland this summer.

We bought the cribs for the babies - but the cats do not agree.

Just wanted to show you this. Iguana and cats speak the same language. Hissing sound and wobbling tail means the same for both. So there is mutual respect as they roam around. :)

And when the summer comes to its end, myriads of these flying ants come and fight each other for their lives. Why? Have no clue. Everything white is covered with them. Their wings together make it sound like it was raining.

This is our donkey, Pelle. We all take it easy here. :)

From an open heart

2010-07-20T23:44:00.001+03:00

It has been a long silence again. This time it has been because I have had mainly only one thing in my mind and have not been ready to speak out about it. However, today I am going to write about it. Read if you dare.:)

Ever since Roope and I got married in 2002, we have dreamed of having children. Three of them, to be exact. However, we are not among those who were blessed with the possibility to have that dream realized the easy way. It has been a long and, in many ways, lonely journey to live with that longing - yet never seeing the dream come true. That sorrow added to all the other hardships we had on the way... well, at times it has been difficult trusting the Lord that He is not allowing any of us more burdens than we can bear. However, so far, I have always found Him to be right, me wrong.

I have not hated the Christmas cards with baby pictures (you should know that many childless couples find them to be salt in their wounds), nor have I resented the company of the friends and families with children. That in itself is a miracle. And the fact that I have been able to work with children and youth all these years - well, I'd call that a miracle as well. I actually enjoy being with other people's children. But, I can admit, it hurts when someone says, "you can borrow mine when they are difficult." (and MANY have said it...) Let me tell you why that is such an awful thing to say. First, they would not lend their children for more than a couple of days anyways, and second, I want the whole package, not just the bad times. I'd take the hard and difficult days, the sorrows, the sickness, the fear, etc - but I want the love and happiness, being a family, as well. You maybe not wanting the thing other dreams of having, does not make it any easier. If it does anything, it makes it worse. If you do not want it but I do - why it is me who hasn't and you do have? Blunt? Maybe - but true.

Hey, sorry, if someone gets offended. That is not my intention. But this is my blog, I may write whatever I think.

Ok then, I have been able to think about other things in my life as well - at least sometimes. But lately this has been the one and only thing really in my mind. For the reason that we entered the infertlity treatment process. The fact is that I am old. Old to have our first child, that is. Not TOO old, but not far from it. And we have realized that we do not have much time nor many chances to have a child.

These last months have been quite an emotional rollercoaster, due to the waiting, hoping, attempting, and disappointment - and not mentionig the effect of hormones injected. And the emotional whirlwind still keeps blowing.

Today is the 13+1 day of the twin pregnancy in our family.

I have felt nausea and uncomprehensible fatique during these first weeks of pregnancy. And I have experienced the most inconceivable joy and fear at the same time mixed with times of disbelief. I try to grasp a hold of hope and trust the Lord. Whatever comes, He is in control and knows what He allows into our lives. However, this one dream in my life has already come true - I am pregnant for the first time in my life.

I know there are many risks, many things can still go wrong. But I try not to choose the fear but trust. After all, I could choose to be afraid - miscarriage, stillbirth, cot death, falling down from a tree, motor bike accident... You name it! There will always be a million reasons to fear. However, there is one reason to trust, and He is called Jesus. Whatever, whenever, wherever happens, He is there. And He knows. And He carries us through. And it is not for the lack of prayers if something sad happens to those already much loved twins we are expecting! There are so many people who pray for us and them. (Thank you all!)

So, this is what I have had on my mind. This is what I have been thinking and not sharing all those years and months I never wrote.. Now I have said it, now you know.

Easter thoughts

2010-04-05T22:34:00.003+03:00

We have been to the church twice this Easter weekend. Those who know us well, understand that it is a piece of information worth sharing. :)

On Good Friday there was an evening with drama and music presenting the passion of Christ. The story ended with the Lord hanging on the cross, leaving everyone waiting for the glorious morning of the resurrection. It was a nice way of telling the story. The Christian in me enjoyed every moment and was especially moved by seeing people in the audience being touched. The theater critic in me thought of about a hundred minor things that could be done to improve the play a bit and I began thinking, maybe I'd like to be part of the directing crew next year. However, all in all, it was a fine evening and I was glad we went.

On the Sunday morning we went to the church again. Fine service, I must say. The choir sung well (my husband suffered a little because of the out-of-tune-grand-piano, but my not-so-musical-ear did not even notice), the pastor delivered a good message from his heart and after the service we had some lovely chats with lovely people.

One thought lingered with me from the sermon. Actually, it was not anything that was said, quite the opposite. It was a truth that was NOT said. The pastor mentioned the doubting Thomas who did not believe the testimony of the other disciples about the risen Lord. We all remember Thomas saying, "if I do not touch the wounds in his hands and feet and his side, I will not believe." The pastor went on to tell how Jesus appeared to Thomas and he was allowed to touch those wounds and when touching he believed and so on.

Well , I thought, ALMOST but NOT QUITE so! Thomas COULD have touched the wounds, but nowhere does it say he did. He responded to Jesus' appearing with a statement of faith, "My Lord." And Jesus says to him, "Because you SAW, you believe." We do not do justice to Thomas when we call him "the doubting one". None of the other disciples believed either before they saw!

To me this is important and speaks of the fact that we are SO WRONG about what we need to believe. We might set down stipulations for the Lord to fulfill saying, THEN we'd trust and believe. Yet, we have no idea what is really needed to trigger faith in us. Thomas wanted to believe, but couldn't. And Jesus did whatever was needed to help him. But it was not what Thomas had thought.

This ties into another thought, about how little we know about ourselves; namely, the amount of suffering we can bear. We are told in the Bible that we will not be tried to the extent that we cannot handle it anymore. How many times have I found myself saying, "I cannot take it anymore" or "If THAT happens, I will not survive"? And just about as many times I have been wrong. Things happened, the greatest fear was realized - and here I am, still alive, still His child.

In the end, it all boils down to a few things. First, the Lord is willing to do whatever is REALLY needed to make us able to believe. Second, no matter what happens, we will not believe if it is not in our heart already that we are WILLING to trust Jesus. Third, the Lord knows better than we do what we need and what we can handle. So, why not trust the Good Lord?

About accepting love

2010-03-30T23:53:00.002+03:00

Let me share some things that happened last week. I have been blessed beyond measure as God has showed me again that He is interested in our lives to the smallest detail.

In the beginning of the week I shared with my husband my fear that I might get so caught up with all the daily routine that I will drop the card-making (and other crafts) I so greatly enjoy. I have been so happy lately that I have had time to do some things with my hands and I was afraid that I'd loose that again. I was hoping to be able to get some craft tools and stamps to keep up the desire to make something - but realized soon that there is no way I could buy anything at present time.

It was Wednesday evening, I think, that I got an amazing e-mail. I have promised not to share details, but I hope the person does not mind me telling this much... Someone I do not know at all had gotten it to their heart that they wanted to send me some paper crafting material if I was willing to receive it. Sure I was willing! I was stunned. God had given it to a someone's heart to send me things and they wanted nothing in return. Two packages arrived last Monday and they were filled with the exact thing I had been hoping to have... Amazing. God cares about my desire to do paper crafts! I just pray this person will get manyfold blessings from our Heavenly Father in return.

As if that alone had not been enough, something more took place. I thought this kind of things happen only in movies. :) On Thursday evening I got a phone call from a friend who asked if we, my husband and I, were willing to leave on a weekend trip next morning, all expences covered. They told me they had organized someone to take care of our animals and we would not be told where we were bound before we got there. I asked who was coming to take care of the animals and heard it was my father-in-law. After that we were glad to say, "Sure, we'll go!" We were to pack clothes for being outside, staying inside, for shopping or such, and later at nigt got an SMS saying we should pack our bathing suits as well.

Next morning we were picked up by two friends and the journey began. It was some exciting hours for us -and we ended up in Turku where we were taken to the Holiday Club spa Caribia. Just before we got there, we received an envelope and inside there was a fairly large sum of money. "Stunned" does no justice to the feeling we had. :) We had a room in the hotel reserved for us and our friends told they'd pick us up on Sunday at noon.

We had a great weekend of realaxing. We spent money on pampering ourselves, had some great meals, swam hours in the multiple pools etc. We loved every moment and felt more than blessed. We could not believe that this kind of thing was happening to us!

This goes beyond understanding just as it is. Even more so it was because in less than two weeks ago, Roope and I had been talking that we would LOVE to be able to go and spend even one night in a spa like that. But counted that in present time there is no way we could afford it. Later we heard another thing that proved again how God takes care of the details. My father-in-law had not accepted an invitation to visit a church he every now and then ministers to... and did not know why he denied it. He understood later - he was not going there because his ministry this weekend was for us. Makes one feel humble...

One would think this is more than plenty of blessing for one person/couple. But when God pampers, He does mighty good job in doing so. We got home on Sunday evening. My friend gave me a bunch of flowers and said, "Sorry and thank you." SORRY??? SORRY FOR WHAT?? For giving us so much? She didn't tell, just smiled...

When we opened the door, we realized that someone has been doing a whole lot of cleaning in our house. Had my mother-in-law been there as well? Had my father-in-law been cleaning all weekend? We could not figure it out, so we made a phone call. We were told to take a look into our fridge and freezer and storage cupboards - all were packed with all kinds of food! Some ladies from the church had been in the house on Friday and they had been cleaning and bringing all that stuff.

We spent that night feeling blessed. And I understood the "sorry" as well... because it WAS humiliating thinking that someone had been in the house and seen it as it was... And it was humiliating thinking that people had seen our need of help... Humiliating to think how much people had given for us and we could not give nothing in return.

Accepting help is not the easiest task to learn!

We spoke about it a lot. About how difficult it is when we do not know who all have been part of making this weekend this special. There is a deeply rooted need in a human being that we'd like to survive on our own or at least to "pay back". Just accepting grace is the hardest part. It is so in relation to the salvation that comes from God by grace through Jesus. It is so in relation to accepting help and support from people. It is so when we just receive blessings that are more than "reasonable".

It would be so nice (to our human pride) to have the blessings in a way that we did not have to depend on anyone. :D But that is not how the body of Christ works... We ask for help from God - and our need is exposed to His people.

In the end, we just have to allow God to love us and use people to do so.

...and even if we cannot pay back to the same people who gave US the blessing, there is no rule that tells we couldn't make the blessing go round to some other direction!

My first attempt on Easel Card

2010-03-20T23:19:00.001+02:00

The other day I went through some boxes that have been storaged for some years. I found a card with a poem that I thought I'd like to scrap or something. It became that "or something." I found a Magnolia challenge and there people were asked to make an easel card. I had never made one, but decided to pick up the challenge.

About the poem, I did not remember ever even hearing the whole thing. I had gotten a small book mark from a friend (and I bet he does not remember giving it any more than I remembered having it!) back in 1995! If you cannot read it on the card, this is how it goes:

God made the world with its towering trees,
majestic mountains and restless seas,
then paused and said, "It needs
one more thing -
someone to laugh and dance and sing,
to walk in the woods and gather flowers,
to commune with nature in quiet hours."

So God made little girls
with lauhging eyes and bouncing curls,
with joyful hearts and infectious smiles,
enchanting ways and feminine wiles,
and when He'd completed the task He'd begun,
He was pleased and proud of the job He'd done.
For the wold when seen through a little girl's eyes,
greatly resembles Paradise.

-author unknown-

Kortti kahteen haasteeseen

2010-03-20T19:20:00.000+02:00

Roope oli päivän uppopalloturnauksessa Kokkolassa ja ehdin sillä välin väsäämään kaikenlaista. Myös tämän kortin ehdin väkertää. Ajattelin yllättää äitini lähettämällä pääsiäiskortin hänelle. Siinä on tosin riskinsä; minä en ikinä lähetä pääsiäiskortteja ja vanha äiti saattaa säikähtää niin, että sydämestä ottaa... :D

Tämä kortti tuli loppujen lopuksi hieman turhan täydeksi omaan makuuni, mutta menkööt. Haasteet, joihin sen ajattelin laittaa on Magnolia haaste #8, koska siihen sen alunperin teinkin. Takaraivossa oli kuitenkin muistikuva Leilan värihaasteesta # 30 haasteesta: Tyttö kevään väreissä. Kevään väreissähän tämä tyttönen on, eikö?

Pilkut ja pallot - p*skarteluhaaste

2010-03-20T12:46:00.000+02:00

Päätinpä nyt sitten osallistua toiseenkin haasteeseen. Tuollainen siitä sitten tuli.

Katsotaan, jos muutkin haasteet vielä innostaisivat... Nyt olisi siihen jopa vähän aikaakin... :)

Arkkikaupan haaste #2

2010-03-14T17:11:00.006+02:00

Surffaillessani nettiä, törmäsin Arkkikaupan haasteeseen.

Sattui olemaan tarvetta erään vauvan pakettikortiksi ja haaste oli tagi, joten päätin kuin päätinkin osallistua. Samalla tässä tulee sitten jonkinlainen postaus tänne blogiinkin, joka muuten tuntuu olevan lähes käyttämättömänä...

Joten, pitkästä aikaa, vääntäydyin askarteluhuoneeseeni ja potkin romuja pois tieltä mennessäni. Ihan ok tuosta tagista tuli. Ikävä kyllä kuvasta ei näe, miten sekä leppis että sudenkorento ovat päällystetyt Glossy accents -aineella. Ja ikävä kyllä, kuvasta näkee vellumin takana olevat teippityynyt, jotka luonnossa eivät näy ollenkaan noin hyvin.

Pikkuinen riimi (siltä varalta, ettette saa selvää), kuuluu näin:
With a dragonfly kiss and a ladybug hug,
sleep tight, my little one, as a bug in a rug.

Vielä vähän tätä vuotta...

2009-12-27T01:28:00.003+02:00

Tämä blogin pitäminen on jäänyt lähes täysin - eikä varmaan juuri kukaan täällä enää vierailekaan, kun ei luettavaa ole ollut. Mutta kirjoittelen nyt kuitenkin, tässä vähitellen menneisyyteen nilkuttelevien joulunpyhien päätteeksi. Huomennahan on taas aika mennä töihin.

Edellisen merkinnän jälkeen on tapahtunut paljon ja samalla ei mitään. Ehkä juuri siksi, että itselle merkittävät, tapahtuvat asiat ovat niiiiiiin henkilökohtaisia ja syvältä koskettavia, ei tule julkaistua ajatuksiaan. Ei kaikkea kuitenkaan voi jakaa kenelle vaan.

Pidän täällä itse itselleni peukkuja ja käsiä kainaloita myöten ristissä, että joskus lähitulevaisuudessa alkaisi aika, jolloin jaksaisin kirjoittaa enemmän. Aika, joka liikuttelisi sisimmässä ajatuksia, joiden julkituleminen olisi mielekästä...

Mutta nyt se aika ei vielä ole tässä.

Joten.

Mutta silti vielä eräs juttu.

Olimme Roopen kanssa jouluaattona pukkina ja muorina kiertämässä muutamassa kodissa. Yleensä pukki näkee vain yltäkylläisyyden täyttämiä koteja. Meillä oli etuoikeus nähdä pari muunkin kaltaista, sellaista, missä taloudellisista syistä ei yleensä pukkia käy... ... ... Tulin kosketetuksi syvältä.

Joulu on epäreilu. Onneksi Joulun Sanoma ei sitä ole, vaan on tasavertainen kaikille.

Siunattua päivää sinulle, joka tämän ehkä sittenkin kävit lukemassa.

My stamps/leimasimet

2009-09-11T20:42:00.018+03:00

I finally got my stamps photographed - just to make sure I know what I have. :) It was sad to realize that I have lost some of them on the way while lending them to various people... Always should write down who borrows what, so that they'd all return... ... ...

Elipäs kuvasin leimasimeni. Kauan olen sen aikonut tehdä, mutta tekemättä on jäänyt. Surullista oli huomata, että osa leimasimista on jäänyt lainausmatkoillaan sille tielleen. Erityisesti jäin kaipaamaan kirjamia, jotka kuuluvat omistamaani numerosettiin. *Huokaus* No, nyt nämä ovat tässä ja tästä lähtien otan "tämä lainasi nämä"-valokuvat ihmisistä ennen kuin leimasimet lähtevät minnekään. :D

Jos joku haluaa tehdä leimakuvavaihtoja, niin voipi rohkeasti ottaa yhteyttä.

Those who attended our wedding might remember the hugging dalmatians. :) And on this photo there are those numbers that lack their alpha nowadays...

These clear ones are bought from Tiimari:

The alpha and the different animals that are stamped on the paper are stamps I bought from LIDL. As you can see from the animals, the quality is not too good... However, these ones I do not mind letting visiting kids have to play with.

The large cup is my favorite stamp. I have made quite a few of such cards where the cup is samped on the front on a separate piece of paper and then cut open so that it forms a pocket. A single-packed teabag is then slipped half-way in and some suitable text added.

My ½ of a set we ordered with a friend to split it.

Some cute stuff, mostly from the time I still studied at CTS. Tina Twedell taught me (and many others) the art of stamping and was the person who aided us to order our own stamps from the States. Some of the stamps are from Finland, however.

Large ones here... as you can see, I have used some of the blocks to make "stamps" of my own to some projects... I adore the Ark. :)

Tiimari had these foam ones for sale. For 40 cents I just had to buy them!

A few more quite large stamps again. The one in the middle right is the one that had the tree on the other side. I really liked the envelope stamp on the catalogue, but it has proven to be a hard-to-use.

Little foamstamps that I found in a small shop in Brussels, Belgium. Long time ago. And on the top right, a very tiny Hello Kitty-stamp. :)

Stitches-stamps that came with a magazine...

Travel- kit I REALLY like and have used for many various things.

LORUPUSSI

2009-09-10T23:21:00.004+03:00

Tämän tein tänään - veljen lapsille lähtee. (Älkääs näyttäkö tätä niille vielä!!) Pitäisi vain saada kuvat joko laminoitua tai päällystettyä kontaktimuovilla ennen lähettämistä... Tai, no, rehellisyyden nimissä on sanottava, että PUSSI on ihan IKEAsta ostettu, mutta kortit tein itse ja lorut hain joko netistä, omista varastoistani ja jonkun jopa riimittelin aivan itse.

Paljon muutakin kivaa olen lomalla väsännyt - saimme nimittäin vihdoinkin askarteluhuoneeni käyttökuntoon (valmis se ei ole vieläkään...)! Repäistiin se samalla vauhdilla kuin edellisen asuntomme remontti vedettiin loppuun... Nyt siellä on muuten sitten vihdoinkin vuokralaiset. Ihmeiden aika ei siis sittenkään ole ohi. :D Laitan kuvia siitä rempasta tässä joku päivä - onpahan ihmeteltävää teille, jotka sen kämpän joskus olette nähneet. Sitä ei nimittäin meinaa samaksi uskoa.

Lomasta on viimeinen viikko menossa ja Roope sopivasti kuumeessa sen kunniaksi - pakkolepoa siis. Näin se on sitten yksi kesäloma lusittu ja seuraavaa jo odotellaan... ... ... ...

Too long...

2009-08-18T00:25:00.004+03:00

I admit, I should have been updating the blog more often. I bet everyone and anyone who ever used to drop by has stopped doing so... :/ But here I am anyway. Maybe people will find their way back.

Let me make a quick wrap-up.

Lotta, had five lovely puppies on March 3.. Everything went well and four of the dogs have found a new home. We kept one and chose that one only by the looks right after birth. She is the crazy one... Lesson learned? Yup, do not judge only by the looks. :D

I had my wrist (canalis carpi) operated just before summer. It is a million times better now and whatever pain is left, the medicines help for that. It still is not perfectly well, but I am more than happy with it.

Summer has gone by. We have had some lovely visitors. Including my mom and her "boyfriend", my dad and his wife, my cousin with her children and our aunt, and Kaisu - my dear friend. Of course there has been many others, however they are not that rarely seen, so I do not mention them now.

AND even if the summer in most parts is over, here comes great news (I think): today was the second day of my (and Roope's) SUMMER HOLIDAY. Yippee! We have too many things we need to get done and too many people we should see and too little time to do it all... however, it is the holiday and I really was in the need of one.

To end this post, let me add a scrap book page. It is NOT made by me, but I took it out of Scrapbook Flair. A person called Broody Hen has made it. But my heart screamed "YES" to the message.

2009-02-21T00:58:00.008+02:00

It has been a nice day today; we've had some friends visiting. First, Lasse Niskala, Roope's very good friend is staying with us for the weekend. He is a great photographer and he took some pics of our animals. The photos on this post are taken by him. (take a look at some of his phenomenal photos HERE )

Then Roope had his bass-student over and his mom came to have a chat and a cup of coffee in the meanwhile. They are our neighbours and have stables with 14 (I think that's correct number) Islandic Horses. She is really nice and it was fun having her over.

In the evening a whole family of friends joined us; Suvi and Jussi came over with they daughters Ronja and Meeri. Sauna, friends, and a good meal - can you think of a better way to spend your Friday evenings? :)

So, today has been "nothing much and quite a lot" at the same time.

Other than today... well... it has been work work work and some studies. I am getting my studies done in schedule, visited doctor's yesterday and am waiting for an operation for my right hand wrist. AND have only three more night sifts before my winter holiday! That is something to look forwards!

One more thing... Lotta will have puppies. On the March 8 th is the due date. So that is exciting!!

She has gone home

2009-01-06T03:26:00.002+02:00

The new year of 2009 has barely began - and already both joy and sorrow have been a part of it... I guess, that's what life is all about...

One of the most amazing (is not "the most") women of God I have ever known and met has moved on from this world to the next one, to meet her Lord and Savior. She battled with ALS for 18 months, shared her heart with the world in her blog, and finally moved on, leaving behind many thankful and grieving hearts. Her blog is well worth reading, if you haven't done so yet!

http://maralynsupdates.blogspot.com/2009/01/thirsty-for-jesus.html

Iguana Christmas

2008-12-31T05:12:00.004+02:00

There is just too much going on in my head - so rather than trying to put it all here, I say nothing. :) Or maybe just a little...

Our green iguana had a nice Christmas, as you can see from the pic. So did the rest of our animals - and us humans. As I have already mentioned, Roope and I worked all Christmas. But that was really nice and we did have a good time with the kids.

New Year 2009 is on its way, not too far anymore. We are waiting for some friends to come over and will enjoy some good time with them as the year changes. Until the next year. Be blessed, you all, whosoever, are reading!

Enkelit lentää liihottaa

2008-12-22T20:32:00.004+02:00

Tänä jouluna pihistellään lahjojen kanssa, näin on sovittu. Omatekoisian ei kuitenkaan lasketa. Siispä... Kuvassa on yksi viidestä meillä syntyneistä enkeleistä, jotka tässä joulun aikana lähtevät uusiin koteihin.

Kuvassa oleva on se, joka on tehty isälleni ja vaimolleen Iirikselle. Koskapa he viettävät jouluaan Teneriffan lämmössä (juu, lähes kuolen kateuteen), muuttaa tämä yksilö tosin vasta myöhemmin... :) Mutta hyvää joulua vaan heillekin!

Sydämeen piirrettynä

2008-12-17T03:29:00.006+02:00

Tänään menin (tyhmä minä!) lukemaan jotakin vanhaa päiväkirjaa ja olen sittemmin taas pyöritellyt mielessäni ajatuksia menneestä, elämästä, Jumalan palvelemisesta, haaveista, toiveista ja kaiken merkityksestä. Mitä siis opimme? Älä lue päiväkirjojasi! :)

Mutta sieltä löytyi runo. Joskus vuosituhannen alkupuolella kirjoittamani, joka tuntui niin tämänhetkiseltä, että laitan sen nyt tänne.

Sinä piirsit
rauhan
sydämeni hiekkaan,
siihen jalanjälkien viereen.
Niiden pois kääntyneiden
päälle.
Sinä piirsit
Minä kastelin
surukukkaa ja
hämmästyin.
Ei kasvanut kukka.
Kasvoi sormesi piirto.

Tänään on sydämessä sattunut taakse jääneet ajat; ne jäljet, jotka ihmiset ovat sinne tehneet - hyvässä ja pahassa. Ja vaikka kyyneleet ovat kipristelleet silmäkulmissa, niin olen ajatellut, että taidan sittenkin olla rikas ihminen. Rikas muistojen määrässä.

Siispä kiitän niistä. Ja muistelen menneitä rakkaudella, surulla ja hymyillen.

Ja loppuun vielä tietty "kuulumiset".
* Hermoratatutkimus tehtiin; odottelen leikkausta oikean käden rannekanavaoireyhtymän takia. Vasenta seuraillaan.
* Puhelin tuli korjauksesta, melkein kaikki osata oli vaihdettu... ja jouduin viemään sen takaisin - kamera ei vieläkään toiminut.
* Ja pakko intoilla: Se tentti, johon ehdin lukea kirjat vain yövuorossa ja pelkäsin, että käsille menee. No, siitä tuli nelonen. (joo siis hei, arvostelu on vitoseen, ei kymppiin!!) JEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

This time of the year

2008-12-15T23:31:00.005+02:00

Peace and Good Will... Sure, that's what God had in mind when He gave His Only Son. We, humans just are so talented in making "good use" of God's great gifts and somehow things always get a bit twisted, a bit "not quite so". By now, most people are somewhat stressed by the fact that not all presents are bought, or they forgot to send someone a Christmas card, or they have not had the time to clean up the house nor decorate it, or that the money they thought to spend on Christmas has gone to pay the bills, etc. etc. We all know it - peace seems to hide from us and under stress Good Will sounds more like a movie title than a reality in our life.

However, it IS Christmas time, the favorite time of the year for many. I don't mind it either, as there are things that make it enjoyable.

I love Christmas decorations, and I just love the fact that it is my responsibility to decorate at work. By now I even have had the time to put up something to our own front door. Every time I come home at the dark, it shines a little bit of Christmas into my heart and mind...

Yesterday evening a little bit bigger piece of Christmas was given to me. Pelle, our donkey, had a role in a local Christmas celebration. He was the donkey (wow! Who could have guessed??) in the Christmas story presented to people of our "village". He did well and everyone just loved him. "Is it a REAL donkey?" was asked quite a few times. Pelle enjoyed all the pats and scratching, and even amused the folks by a couple of I-OOH's, the typical donkey hellos. Too bad I did not have a camera with me!

And I AM dreaming of a white Christmas. The little snow we have already make a great big difference; it is not that dark as the snow reflects the light. However, the snow has come and gone and it is awfully slippery everywhere. There is no way we could ride or drive our hooflings at the present time. So, we are praying for snow, good 10-20 centimeters of it. At least. THAT would be something!

Is it Christmas already?

2008-11-16T03:31:00.007+02:00

Already for a few weeks the shops have been bringing out Christmas stuff. It seems like every year that happens earlier and earlier. In my opinion, it just wears all the fun out of Christmas. Byt the time Christmas is here, everyone (except the little children) is tired of it!

Tonight, at work, I had to make invitations for our Christmas celebration and ended up roaming through some old pics because of that. I found a photo of a manger- setting I had put up last Christmas here at work. It reminded me of the nights I stood up, when children were sleeping, and watched the dim light of the manger. I was quite pleased with the setting back then - and still do think that the ray of light highlights the idea wery well...

And I began thinking it over. No, never could I be tired of CHRISTmas! It is an important part of the Greatest Story of all times - about how God chose to seek and find us, the lost. If only it could be possible to keep one's mind on the Main Thing, and not to be distracted to believe it was all about spending money and stressing about "having it right"!

This year, for the third time, we will spend our Christmas at work with Roope. And I am glad we do! Because it is not about what we can GET out of it, but what we can GIVE. And the most important thing to give is not the presents but presence!

Palkinto... OHO!

2008-11-02T00:15:00.009+02:00

Tällaisen palkinnon minulle antoi ystäväni Kirsi . En nyt oikein osaa itseäni TAIDEpalkinnon saajana arvostaa, mutta kiitän kauniisti.

Tällaiset ehdot blogistaan löysin:

Ja säännöt palkinnon eteenpäin jakoon ovat:
1) Valitse viisi blogia, joita arvostat luovuuden, kuvituksen, mielenkiintoisen sisällön ja/tai blogosfääriin tehdyn panostuksen johdosta millä tahansa maailman kielellä.
2) Jokainen annettu palkinto on henkilökohtainen ja sitä annettaessa mainitaan blogin kirjoittajan nimi sekä linkitetään palkittavaan blogiin.
3) Palkinnonsaaja liittää palkinnon logon blogiinsa.
4) Palkinto tulisi linkittää alkuperäispalkinnon osoitteeseen.
5) Palkinnonsaaja julkaisee säännöt omassa blogissaan.

Kansainvälisen, Uruguaysta alkunsa saaneen palkinnon alkuperäiset säännöt löytyvät osoitteesta http://arteypico.blogspot.com/2008/06/y-el-premio-arte-y-pico-es-para.html

Hieman tässä joutuu aivonystyröitään hieraisemaan, sillä sen verran vähäisesti blogimaailmaa vielä tunnen... mutta tässäpä olisi muutama blogi, jotka MINUN mielestäni olisivat palkinnon (taidepalkinnon?... hmmm... ehkäpä! Kurkkaapa itse.) arvoisia. Eivätkä nämä ole missään muussa kuin sattumanvaraisessa järjestyksessä...

1.) Elliksen (http://www.ihahhurja.vuodatus.net) hurrrrrja perhe ja elämä. Minusta oli kivaa löytää hänet, ehkäpä sinustakin?
2.) Reeta, pikkuinen poni, joka kertoo elämästään (http://reetuli.blogspot.com/)
3.)Tilkkutäkin alta löytyvä kuttu (http://tilkkutakinalla.blogspot.com/) , joka on kyllä Reetankin näppiksen takana...
4.) Pajupuun luota (http://pajupuu.blogspot.com) löytyy myös muutama mukava juttu - ja uskoni tuleviin postauksiin on suuri, joten sinne lähtee yksi palkinto!
5.) Nopostiinalle ( http://nopi-norppa.blogspot.com/) tunnustus rohkeasta avautumisesta elämän fiiliksistä. Se ON taidelaji!

Syksy - minkäs teet...

2008-10-27T13:12:00.007+02:00

Kuva on viimetalvinen, mutta hyvä muistutus siitä, että heijastimet PITÄÄ olla, että näkyy. :)

Oltiin viikonloppuna kyläilemässä ihanilla ihmisillä. Se on muuten kummaa, miten kauan voi välttyä ilmiselviltä ystäviltä! Nämä ihmiset me ollaan tiedetty jo jonkin aikaa, mutta koskaan ei vaan olla aikaiseksi saatu tavata ja olla yhdessä. Ja nyt sitten vihdoin otettiin asiaksi. Ja sitä vaan huomaa saaneensa uuden ystävän. Huippukivan sellaisen.

Nyt mulla on pari vapaata päivää puuhastella keskeneräisiä asioita valmiiksi, lukea tenttiin ja levätä. Keskiviikkona tehdään käsiin hermoratatutkimus...

Juuri nyt ulkona paistaa aurinko ja sataa vettä. Sitähän tämä elämä on. Välillä toista toisinaan toista ja parhaimmillaan molempaa. Mutta se on Jumalan kunniaksi sanottava, että koskaan ei vielä ainakaan ole pitänyt taakseen jättää ja luopua mistään, mitä ei olisi vähintäänkin yhtä hyvänä saanut takaisin. Hän todellakin Osaa ja Tekee monin verroin enemmän kuin osamme pyytää tai edes ajatella...

SHE STEPPED ON IT!!!

2008-10-17T19:53:00.003+03:00

Heh... these updates are way too rare... I was planning to spend some time adding new pictures as soon as I had a day off (that would have been tomorrow) - but there will be no new pics... Yesterday evening I had my mobile phone (where all the pics are as well..) in my pocket when feeding the "hooflings", and it slipped out without me noticing. Later in the evening, I began looking for it but could not find it anywhere inside the house - so I used Roope's phone to call to myself. I DID indeed find a ringing phone - but the Clara had aleready stepped on it an the whole screen was shattered. Luckily I do have an insurance that will cover it - but it will take some time before I get a new phone...

Yesterday and today I have finally been to the doctor's and x-rays. My hands are getting worse and worse all the time. They are trying to figure out what's wrong and whether they can fix it. It would be NICE if they found the reason and the cure - I feel almost desperate as I cannot do any crafts (!) nor type for more than a little while without pain. Even this much is almost too much...

So, I'll be back with news later.

viimeinen kesälomapäivä

2008-09-29T18:04:00.006+03:00

Freely

2008-09-28T20:58:00.004+03:00

Pelle and Clara roaming freely all around our yard.
They stay close by even when they are allowed free, and happly go back inside the fenced area if the gate is open.

As Roope said: "it is only now that I really feel like we OWN a horse and a donkey."

A new day and sun is shining!

2008-09-27T13:19:00.005+03:00

Above is Pelle, on his first morning at home. Shetland pony size fits fairly well... the chest is to big for him; you can see the rubberbands on the side... :)

As they say in Finland, "tired but happy". Or maybe I should say the other way around, "happy but tired".

Physically I am exhausted and just might go and take a nap soon. Mentally I have been drained - but have risen above the circumstances. There is no way I can made decisions for the others, so I just have to make sure that I keep trying to make the right ones for me. Spiritually - renewed day by day, through the grace of the One Who Knows All, even knows me better than I do know myself.

However, in the midst of it all, there are people whom I love and feel their love for me! Thanks for the phone calls, dear ones! You know who you (plural) are!! Heh, as hard as it is to say personally, here publicly it is easy to declare: I love you. You are dear to me.

Yesterday we got our horse and donkey home. For a moment things felt very sad - you should have seen her (Clara) as she pulled back (she is usually an easy traveller!) and went back to the fence, stood muzzle to muzzle with Hemppa (her horse-friend for the summer), as if saying goodbye... I felt like crying when I watched the friends part. But then she and Pelle got into the trailer and we started our journey home. Hemppa called after them and that was one of the saddest sounds I have heard... But we had to leave him there all by himself. Poor boy, he could have used a friend at that time.

But we got home and had a happy reunion. Even before we unloaded Pelle and Clara, our goat Yrjö was greeting them through the side door - and they were obviously happy to see each other. Strange, but you could really see that. And in just a little time, they were all happily grazing together in the new corral. There are no words to tell how I feel, even now, seeing the "hoof animals" from my window all the time, and being able to say hello to them whenever I want. Roope has been "chatting" with them all evening and first in the morning. This is how animals should be owned, kept right at your own yard!

Just before Roope had to leave (they are playing with VIP in a Christian event, Ruskagospel) tonight, we had a phonecall. About a mile away there had been a cat in a tree since yesterday morning. A friend thought it might be ours - and off we went to find out. It was Iitu, one of our first cats. We could have never gotten her down without the help of Veli, a local farmer, who had a "lift" (I do not know what it is called in Finnish, how could I know what it is in English??) and he helped Roope to get 6 m high... and then the cat was chased with the long ladder up to the very top of the tree. Then Roope bent the top branches so that they broke - and could just reach the cat and got her down. Little kitty purred all the way home, pressing herself to me. Poor girl, rough 24 hours - but happy ending!

... but now the nap and then back to yard work, fencing (the ordered materials came in yesterday! Fast delivery, thanks Börjes!!), and a nice stroll with the hooflings to see the surroundings...

Hard to keep on track!

2008-09-24T12:30:00.004+03:00

On the above photo is Juolukka, the newest addition to our family. We got her in the beginning of September.

Have you ever had those times in life, when you think things go this way and suddenly, something unexpected happens and everything (or almost, at least) seems to flip over and turn upside down? How you think you are doing something very ordinary and that brings about something that will end up changing just about every plan you had? Well... this is how I feel now...

In just two days my life has gained new directions and thrown me into some deep waters. It all started when I called an old friend and heard that they had a small, transportable stable for sale for a really good price... so we took some 15 minutes to think about it and made a quick decision to buy it.

Things have evolved and we have to move our horse and donkey this coming Friday. So, on Monday we heard about the possibility, Friday we will move animals... and now in between we try to get everything ready and make preparations so that moving is possible. And in all this, there is also people-tangles involved...

And so that this would not be too simple, last few weeks have been ... ... interesting, to say at least. I am not in the mood to share details with all the world - but if you are a Christian who is reading, I could truly use your prayer support...

Hopefully things will even up here and I will eventually get back on track with all, including updating my blog.

I am alive - not that I shouldn't be. :)

2008-08-24T14:07:00.008+03:00

Some people have asked where did I disappear - wondering if I am still alive. The answer is YES, I am still here.

Now that I look at my blog, I realize that my last thankyou-SAY5-posts have not been added and I cannot find them here... (wonder what happened??) I need to thank her... oh... one more thing to do!!

Summer has gone by too quickly. Work has been the main theme, building another. Roope had his 30th birhtday and we had a "party" for him; a bunch of friends came to help with the building project. He had no clue beforehands.

Also, a stable is being built (= remodeling an old cowshed). I try to help in as I can - but my friend Anne and her family are taking the main responsibility... as it is THEIR stable. We will have our hoof-animals there over the winter as well.

As you, who read my blog, know, we bought a clydesdale mare, a male donkey and a male goat... and we will add one more member to our animal-family; a female goat is coming to live with us, and to be friend to Yrjö, as soon as we have time to pick her up.

My summer holiday is getting nearer - the month of September. A bit late, yes, and it has been a long summer at work, but now I am happy the holiday is not gone yet. I feel I really NEED it...

BTW, today is our sixth anniversary. Roope is sleeping late into the day - he came home at 10 AM after having been playing with his band last night (www.vipmetal.net)...

So, yes, I am alive. And busy. And very, very tired. And not getting things done. But fairly happy, anyway. And thanking the Lord for taking care of us through it all.

If you feel that I have neglected you - do not think you are the only one. Sad, but true, I have not been up to my best lately. So, alive, yes, living it to the fullest... not necessarily... So, sorry, if I have disappointed you.

Let the life continue!

Mukakiirettä koko elämä!

2008-06-14T22:00:00.011+03:00

Alkukuusta tein työpaikalta neljän tytön kanssa retken Helsinkiin. Mukavaa oli, vaikka väsyneinä palattiinkin. Pakko on tyttösiä kehua, että uskomaton oli heidän matkakestävyytensä. Itäkeskuksessa shoppailtiin lähemmäs viisi tuntia ja päälle vielä käytiin tarkistamassa Forum ja Suomenlinna. Seuraavana päivänä valloitettiin Heureka (jossa olisi ollut näkemistä ja tekemistä vaikka kuinka paljon enemmän kuin, mitä ehdimme) ja Ikean tavaratalo Vantaalla. Yötä vasten ajettiin yhdellä istumalla takaisin Lapualle, tytöt torkkuivat, eikä kukaan valittanut matkan pituudesta. Itseltä oli reissun jälkeen mehut poissa, mutta hyvä mieli silti päälimmäisenä.

Sittemmin ollaan tehty urakalla hommia tontilla, jossa vähitellen alkaa syntyä valmista pintaa. Siitä on muuten melkoisen hyvä mieli, sillä se, jos joku, lisää ihmisen uskoa siihen, että valmista tästä vielä joskus tulee. Anoppi ja appiukko ovat olleet tapetoimassa ja muutenkin auttelemassa. Itse ollaan lähinnä keskitytty maalaamiseen ja tavaroiden hankintaan.

Lisäksi tässä on jälleen yksi pitkäaikainen haaveeni toteutunut. Mä sain mopo-skootterin. :D Dieselin hinta on nykyään niin järkyttävä, että ei kannata kahdella diesel-autolla juuri ajella. Kunhan saadaan vani korjuuksilta, laitetaan pikkumersu pois liikenteestä. Aivan on meinannut ääneen naurattaa, kun olen mopollani päristellyt ympäri kyliä!

SAY5

2008-06-14T21:54:00.002+03:00

IHANA kortti SAYltä ilmestyi postilaatikkoon! Kertakaikkiaan juuri minun makuni mukainen - ja sisällä ihania lisukkeita - leimakuvia, Karvis-tarroja ja NIITÄ IHANAN VÄRISIÄ (ruskeaa ja oranssia) paperinpalasia, mistä niin tykkäsin. K I I T O S ihana SAYni!!

ELÄIMILLE KELA-KORVAUS!!!

2008-05-30T15:47:00.005+03:00

Voisko joku perustaa sellaisen ryhmän, joka ajais asiaa, että sais eläimet KELA-korvauksen piiriin?

Käytiin nimittäin eilen eläinlääkärissa Benkun tassua näyttämässä ja hakemassa muutama resepti... apteekista lähti mukaan Benkulle antibioottikuuri, molemmille koirille täys loishäätö, hevoselle ja aasille laajakirjoinen matolääke sekä kaviokkaille ja vuohelle ulkoloishäätö... iloinen loppusumma 213 euroa ja sentit päälle. Ei onneksi ole ongelmaa sen kanssa, mihin rahansa käyttäis...!

Tontilla ollaan tehty viime päivinä sisähommia. Maalia tulee jo pintoihin ja alkaa tuntua siltä, että tämä projekti ehkä päättyy jonakin päivänä. Täytyy ottaa vähän kuvia, että saisi tännekin laitettua...

Ulkona paistaa aurinko, kesä on tulossa, elukoiden kanssa on ihanaa (noista kuluista huolimatta) - voisi sitä elämä huonomminkin olla. Täytyy tässä yrittää laskea siunauksiaan, ettei vahingossa päätyisi katkeraksi vanhaksi akaksi, joka ei näe kaikkea ympärilleen annettua hyvää.

Some photos from last few days...

2008-05-28T00:47:00.016+03:00

First of all, there is no reason why one could not use a mercedes for transporting hay...

Yes, donkeys DO have a cross on therir backs - most do, anyway... Päve's friend Saila had heard a Bible lesson about that cross (as Jesus rode a donkey, you see...) and wondered if it was true. Now she has seen some photo-evidence. :)

On May 24. we had a group of people helping and we managed to put up the electric fencing for the hoof- animals. :) Now there is 24/7 green pasture for them to use. After the Mid Sumer, we will expand the pasture even more - however, they seem quite content already.

Midges have arrived...

There aren't too many as silky and lovely things in this world as is a doneky muzzle. If you have never kissed one, you should do all you can to be able to do so!

It has been fairly late when we have been going home most evenings... and last two evenings I have not been going home at all but, rather, I have gone to work...

Roope is feeling ok. Eating grass with other animals (one of the above pics!)made him look a bit more like a rabbit, but I guess that's ok. :D

Toukokuun paketti SAY:ltäni

2008-05-28T00:26:00.002+03:00

Postilaatikosta löytyi ihana kirjekuori... en ihan rehellisesti nyt tiedä, milloin se on sinne ilmaantunut, koska en pariin päivään ole laatikolla käynyt... :) Mutta, kuten kuvasta näkyy, ihanaa tavaraa se oli taas pullollaan! Todella kivoja juttuja osaa minun Salainen AskarteluYstäväni lähettää, oikein mieluisia. Lämmin kiitos taas tästä muistamisesta!!!

Yövuorossa jälleen

2008-05-26T23:19:00.007+03:00

Kuvassa on maailman ehkä suloisin sekarotuinen koira - meidän Lotta. Toki saatan olla hieman jäävi tätä arvioimaan, mutta aika moni muukin on samaa sanonut. :)

Kamalasti on ollut härdelliä, vaikka tuntuu, että juuri mitään ei ole saanut aikaiseksi. Hevosiakaan en ole edes ehtinyt käydä kunnolla katsomassa, puhumattakaan, että oltaisiin käyty ratsastelemassa. No, kerran oon käyny tuon edellisen postauksen jälkeen. Ja Klaara kulki mukavan leppoisasti.

Tänään käytiin ostamassa vähän maaleja uutta kotia varten. Aika mehukkaita värejä valittiin, vaikka itse sanonkin. Laitan sitten joskus kuvia, kun ne on vedelty seiniin. Ainakin mielikuvissa värit näyttää hyvältä. :D Uuteen kotiin pääseminen kangastelee jo kovasti mielessä... mitenhän tässä oikein todella käy? Yritän itselleni vakuuttaa, että mulle riittää, että päästään kesälomalla (joka meillä on vasta syyskuussa) muuttamaan - vaikka oikeesti haluaisin sinne vaikka heti!

Viime viikolla sain töissä vihdoinkin tilaamani paketin: kuulontutkimukseen tarkoitetun laitteen. Harjoittelin käyttöä kotona, testasin Roopen ja Päven (joka kävi käymässä meillä) kuulot ja opetin Päveäkin käyttämään laitetta, että sain itsellenikin kuulokynnyskäyrän. Nyt pitäisi vaan sitten saada musiikkeja (Roopella on kolme biisiä tehtynä), joita muokata, että päästään harjoittamaan kuuloa paremmaksi. Heh. Kuulostaa ihan salatieteiltä, mutta kyllä tää homma vaan toimii. Sensomotorista kuntoutusta on nyt jonkin aikaa meillä töissä tehty ja joitain tuloksiakin on näkyvissä. Ehtisi joskus vaan oikein todenteolla panostaa asiaan...

Niin, muuten... meillä on nykyään VAIN kuusi kissaa. Napsu-pikkuinen muutti Ampille kisuksi Tiistenjoelle. Meillä meinasi tippa tulla linssiin, mutta nyt Nappula saa paljon rakkautta ja hurjasti herkkuja. Parempi siis kai näin... :,) Ei tarvitse Napsun enää ulkoilla vain parvekkeella pyykinkuivaustelineellä, vaan pääsee jälleen ihan oikeasti hiirimetsälle!

Update on our animalistic life

2008-05-21T23:53:00.003+03:00

It has been a BUSY month. Wonderful, but busy. As I have already mentioned, in the beginning of the month we brought our new animals home. Since that, so much has happened! I do not know where to start from...

First of all, we did not only find lovely new pets, we also made new friends - and that is already a miracle! The former owner and her future (getting married in August) husband are now planning to move to the same city where we live. That's a real "WOW" - as their plans have radically changed.

It seems like the best things come unexpected. :)

I got the new saddle for Clara on Monday, when my husband and I tried both the horse and the saddle. I had ridden my girl only once before - as her hoofs were trimmed just a while ago - and then only with the halter. Today I went out with a friend and her horse - and Clara behaved very nicely and seemed to enjoy our little trip.

Pelle, the donkey, has won everyone's affection and love is being poured on him. Amanda takes good care of him - and they are still in the battle of wills... Pelle has won a few rounds, as one can see from the photo - however, Amanda seems to be winning the war. :) She is one tough chick! After Pelle had got her off the "saddle" (he has no saddle...) about six times, she came up with the idea to put a stir-up-leather around him - and now she holds onto that and Pelle just cannot figure out why she does not fall off anymore.

Yrjö, the goat, has moved to our not-yet-finished house. Not INTO it, he lives in the cage built for our dogs and sleeps gladly in the dog-house. It is heartbreaking to hear him calling after us as we leave for home. One more reason why we want to be able to move SOON.

About moving, then... my dad came over to help with the building. Ari (my father-in-law) was there as well, as was my hubby, Roope. Little by little the house seems more like a home and we are hoping more and more that we will be able to move in sometime this summer. THAT would be one long-term dream come true!

So, buzy-buzy-bees, that's what we are. Life is all about work, building, animals and sleep - not much more. But it is the life we have chosen, and I do not regret at all. We are living in a dream come true.

SAYtä pitäisi kiittää...

2008-05-19T23:14:00.004+03:00

Voi hurja, kun tämä meidän elämä on yhtä härdelliä! Mutta hymyn sai aikaiseksi SAY:n paketti, jossa oli todella kivoja magneetti-muistilehtiöitä ja lisukkeina vielä näitä ihania magnolia-leimakuvia ja kiiltokuvia. Ihan hävettää, kun en ehdi tätä blogia kunnolla päivittämään - mutta tällainen tämä tilanne nyt vain on...

Olen kuitenkin TODELLA iloinnut näistä SAY-paketeista. En malta odottaa, että jostain irtoaisi vielä aikaa tehdä kaikilla näillä kivoilla jutuilla jotain!!

KIITOS kiitos KIITOS SAY:ni - vaikka minä näin huonosti kiitoksia ilmaisenkin!!!

Kiitos SAY!

2008-05-10T01:34:00.002+03:00

Kortti tuli postissa eilen. En vieläkään ehdi kunnollista postausta laittaa, mutta kuvaan kortin kyllä... yritän viikonloppuna. :) Kiva kortti ja namitikkareita (nyt jo syöty ukon kanssa) - KIITOS kiitos!!

10.5. lisäsin kuvan. Eikö ole IHANAT värit kortissa? Harmi, ettei kännykällä tuon laadukkaampaa kuvaa tullut...

Perheen lisäystä /Growing family

2008-05-04T11:07:00.005+03:00

Perheemme on lisääntynyt kolmella jäsenellä. Pelle-aasi, clydesdale-tamma Klaara, ja vuohipoika Yrjö muuttivat meille 31.4.08. Amanda Pellen selässä on pojan virallinen hoitaja ja ystäväni tyttö.

Our family has now three more members. Donkey called Pelle (clown), clydesdale mare Klaara and a goat named Yrjö moved "in" on April 31. The rider in the photo is Amanda, my friend's daughter and official groom for Pelle :) .

Beni's new haircut/Benin kesätukka

2008-04-25T21:36:00.003+03:00

This year Beni got his summer cut on 22.4.2007

Letting go and gaining more

2008-04-25T21:11:00.003+03:00

It seems to be one of those times again when hopes get high, then all is taken away - and right after, even better things emerge.

The thing I spoke about earlier, it did not work. I thought to let it all go, and forget about it. Well, new and better things emerged and now I hope again. :) When May comes, I will tell you all about it. By then I should know for sure. However, now things look bright again - unlike just the day after my previous post. Until then... you need to wait to hear, and I need to wait to be sure. Too bad. LOL One more week to go!

Btw, the spring IS here. The first coltsfoot (Tussilago farfara, leskenlehti)was blooming in the morning!

SAY 5

2008-04-25T20:56:00.004+03:00

SAY:ni laittoi loppukuun paketin ja sain sen tänään. Muutenkin mukavan päivän keskellä oli kiva käydä myös postilaatikolla!

Ääriviivatarroja olen useasti kaupassa katsellut, mutta yleensä ovat ostamatta jääneet, kun en ole niitä juuri aiemmin käyttänyt. Mutta nyt pääseekin sitten kunnolla kokeilemaan! Erityisesti ihastuin hopeanvärisiin sudenkorentoihin, vaikka KAIKKI olivat kivoja.

Leimavärit tulevat taatusti käyttöön, niitä ei kai edes voi olla liikaa??? Ja ilmapalloaika on ihan kohta.

Mukana oli myös ihania mangolia-leimakuvia, kiiltokuvia, tarroja, paljetteja ja papereita (iiiiiiiiiiiiiiihania!!! Tuo tummin oranssi on sellaista ihanaa hohtavaa, mikä ei kuvassa näy.)

Paketin kruunasi tuo ihana oranssi nauha - minulla oli sitä itselläni vielä jokin aika sitten, mutta melkein kyynelin "uhrasin" sen erääseen projektiin. Ja nyt sain sitä lisää! Ihanaa!

Olet loistava, SAYni.

Getting things ready

2008-04-21T13:44:00.007+03:00

Spring is here. There are so many things to do, so we're ready for the summer. First of all, I have been making some summer decoration at work. The picture of the sun and the bird house is from my work place. I made it for the door some weeks ago already. Since that we have been getting ready to welcome the growth season, for example, by planting some seeds - they are well on their way by now. We also worked some on the garden. Some of the kids were happy to help with planting and trimming the bushes. We also raked and cleaned the dog's cage. Who would thing that working at children home is such physical labor!

Last two days I have been working at a pasture by a friend's house. On saturday there was a lot of carrying logs and raking the upper part (dry, forest base) of it. Yesterday we had a crowd; the already mentioned friend and her 11 yrs old twins, another friend with her two little boys and I - plus two dogs running around. We finished clearing the upper pasture and - believe or not- RAKED the field base! I know some (most?) people would think us having totally lost it, however, we need this part of the field ready for use by May 1. So anything working for that purpose is worth trying. As you see, we ruthlessly used child labor. LOL

Both evenings, as I drove home, it was already getting dark. Every part of my body ached, but a good night sleep was quaranteed. Why is it still so long until May??

What a day!

2008-04-16T21:13:00.003+03:00

It has been a wonderful mail-day. :) I received a letter with lovely orange and red craft papers from my Secret Craft friend (see separate post), the new craft club UNELMA (name meaning "dream") remembered me with the welcome package that had two books, notebook, and three rubber stamps. And if that was not enough, Iiris (my dad's wife) had sent us lovely, bright towels after she has returned from Tenerife!! WOW! This is what I call FUN!

In addition to being able to receive so many nice things, it is fun also being able to give. A work mate of mine is getting married and we got into talking about making the invitations by hand. I promised to lend her some of my rubberstamps and other craft supplies. So she does not have to buy everything - as she is not that much into crafts and did not want an excuse to buy some great new stuff (can you believe that??? LOL).

Those of you who read my post about one dream MAYBE coming true, you might want to know that I did not mean baby-news (too bad...). It has something to do with a horse. I will tell you as soon as I know for sure. 100 % sure. Now it is only something like 98%. LOL

SAY muisti minua

2008-04-16T20:57:00.003+03:00

Tänään oli ihana postipäivä! En edes muista milloin viimeksi näin kivasti oon nauttinut postista ja muistamisista. :) Salainen Askartelu Ystäväni (jonka kotikaupungissa ei näköjään käytetä postileimoja...) muisti minua Helinä-keiju kortilla ja oranssi-punaisen värisellä askartelupaperipakkauksella. Kukahan sille oli kertonut, että arvoin sen ja vihreän välillä pitkään ja ostin sen vihreän vastaavaan... ja jäin tästä vielä haaveilemaan?????? Huippua! I S O kiitos, ihana SAYni!

Saahan sitä vielä vanhana unelmoida?

2008-04-14T01:03:00.003+03:00

Nyt on kyllä sellainen juttu, että mulla on pää ihan sekaisin. No, ei kai siinä mitään uutta teille ole, jotka mut tunnette, mutta ihan on uusi juttu mielessä. Eräs haave kolkuttelee nurkan takana ja minua pelottaa, ettei siitä sittenkään tule mitään. Ja toisaalta melkein haluaisin uskoa sen toteutuvan. Tai siis haluan. Mutten uskalla ihan vielä uskoa. ;D

HEH!! Enpäs kerrokaan teille vielä, mistä on kyse... mutta kyynärpäitä myöten on kädet ristissä, että tämä(kin) juttu tästä järjestyisi. Voi juku, kun asiat alkaisivat OIKEASTI nyt vihdoinkin tapahtumaan... Niin pitkään on tuntunut, että meidän perheessä ollaan vaan kitkuteltu elämän puolella. Mutta eikös se olisi ihan tavanomaista Suurelle Sattumalle, jota palvelen, että Hän ottaisi ja pyöräyttäisi elämän uuteen uskoon käsittämättömällä tahdilla ja tavoilla, jota ei olisi IKINÄ osannut pienessä päässään pyörittää kasaan...???

Huokaus. Mä meen nyt kyllä tuonne ukkoni ja koirien viereen nukkumaan. Jos nyt saan nukahdettua. Onneksi on huomenna vapaata!

Today

2008-04-12T00:53:00.004+03:00

We decided to clean up our home tonight... Well.. we did some of that, and a lot of something else. Iguana needed a bath and we needed some lauhgs as well. Simple life can be fun when it is shared with someone you love!

Nappasin haasteen nettiä surfatessani

2008-04-10T17:02:00.002+03:00

Peikkotyttö oli laittanut haasteen blogiinsa ja minä sen näin - olin hänen blogissaan ensimmäistä kertaa, joten päätin olla reilu ja vastata haasteeseen. :)

Kerro viisi asiaa mitä olet tänään tehnyt?

1. Aamuyöstä maalasin työpaikalla lasten nukkekodin kalusteita.

2. Herätin lapset ja laitoin heidät koulumatkalle.

3. Nukuin muutamani tunnin.

4. Pelailin Lumosityssä älypelejä.

5. Puhuin ystävän kanssa puhelimessa.

Haastan SINUT, joka eksyt tänne ensimmäistä kertaa, jos et olet tätä vielä tehnyt.

Well... well... Hello!

2008-04-10T15:34:00.009+03:00

It has been a while since I wrote in English... I wonder if you all whom I know from my non-Finnish-speaking life have already totally disappeared...

Things in our life are advancing. Some things we thought could never happen, seem to come to pass even we have not been able to work for their advance. An unexpected turn took place in our life and it seems like we MIGHT be able to move to our new house in a few month's time... Maybe. :) I have been disappointed so many times that I dare not even THINK, far less say out loud, that it actually WOULD happen... Well.. however, I just might have to admit that it is possible that God still does and works miracles... LOL

Last night I had a night sift. Quite enjoyable for once; I have been supervicing a student - whom I happen to know from the time I was I youth pastor! She was among the youth group back then and has grown into a beautiful, smart and capable young lady. It is so true, as my mother often says, "Teachers teach, yet the children learn anyway"... (my mom was a teacher herself) We had nice time together, chatted and shared about the past years we have not been in contact, played brain-games in the net and finished painting the furniture for the kids' dolls' house. Oh, and yes, we did also all the chores that are part of the nightsift.

Yöksi töihin

2008-04-09T18:53:00.005+03:00

Tänään on laitettu ukon kanssa laskuja maksuun ja syöty isännän tekemää kaalikeittoa. Mun pitää yöksi töihin ja olen saanut rentoutua päivän. Skräppäsin yhden sivun tutulle tytölle hänen hiirestään ja kävin Hempan kanssa lenkillä lumi/räntäsateessa. Mukavaa oli!

Yöllä mulla on kaverina opiskelija, jonka harjoittelun ohjaaja mä olen, joten varmaan sujuu yö mukavissa merkeissä. Ajattelin ottaa työpaikan nukkekodin kalusteiden maalaamisen projektiksi...

Eipäs tässä mitään kummoisia, suunnitelmissa suihku ja pienet torkut, siinäpä tämä päivä sitten kai onkin...

SAY5- postia!!!

2008-04-07T22:54:00.004+03:00

Oih ja voih! Tänään tuli postia minunkin SAY:lta. Minun makuni mukaisilla väreillä tehty kortti ja muutama leimakuva - enkelityttö, Magnolioitako nämä nyt olivat? Olen vain ihaillut, kun muilla on näitä hurmaavia leimakuvia, mutta itsellä ei ollenkaan. Nyt melkein hihkaisin riemusta nämä saadessani. VARMASTI tulee käytettyä!!!
K I I T O S sinulle, say:ni.

Pakko on vielä vähän hehkuttaa tuosta kortista... aivan ihanalle pohjalle se oli tehty. Sitä ei -ikävä kyllä - näy, mutta minä olen sitä useasti ihaillut. :)

Wayne's Coffee

2008-04-05T15:18:00.003+03:00

Täällä sitä istuskellaan kahvilassa Tampereella. Lähdettiin viikonlopuksi Urjalaan Päven synttäreille ja muut änkes tänään Mega Zoneen pelaamaan. Mulla on selkä edelleen niin kamalassa jumissa, etten uskaltanut mukaan lähteä. Kipu kun ei minulle kuulu niihin rakastettavien asioiden listaan... Pikkasen epäsosiaaliselta tämä tietysti tuntuu, mutta ei mahda mitään.

Mukava tänne oli silti lähteä. Koirat on tykänny, kun on ollu kaveria - ihmisiä ja koiria, ja itellekin tämä on mukavaa vaihtelua. Vähän on väsynyt olo, kun yötä myöten valvottiin, nauraa käkätettiin huonoille jutuillemme ja juttelimme jopa vähän vakaviakin. Ystävät on aikas mainio keksintö. Täytyy tänne jossain välissä joku kuvakin lisätä, mutta nyt juon smoothieni.

LISÄYS myöhemmin: tuo kuva siis... vähän ostettiin tyttöjen kanssa karkkia. :) Tekosyynä tietysti se, että viedään miehillemmekin...

SAY5

2008-04-01T11:34:00.005+03:00

Laitoin tuossa jokin hetki sitten kuoreen korttia salaiselle askarteluystävälleni. Muistinpa sitten, etten ole tänne linkkiä laittanut, kun en jostain syystä saanut nappia kaapattua itselleni... Osallistun siis SALAINEN ASKARTELUYSTÄVÄ 5 vaihtoon. Siellä on kiva lista osallistujien blogeista - notta jos kiinnostaa askartelublogit, ni eiku surffaamaan niitä. :)

Kuvan kuparilankaenkeli oli mallina lapsille töissä, kun tekivät kavereilleen pikkulahjoiksi koruja. Samalla idealla tein ISON enkelin rautalangasta työpaikan ulko-oveen joulunajaksi. Ihan kiva ja simppeli työ. Varmaan joskus jostain varastettu idea, mutta eikös ne kaikki?

Nightsift again

2008-03-29T23:06:00.003+02:00

A few days has passed again and nothing added here... well... such is life. And life it has been, outside the i-net, for a change. :)

Last few days I have been privileged to ride my friends' horses again. We had a few BEAUTIFUL winter days, plenty of snow (for a couple of days), lovely sunshine and temperature close to zero (Celsius). A few rides was with the most loveable Finnish Draft, Hemppa - the horse that truly has a place in my heart. The pic is of him, taken in the former stables he used to stay before he was sold to my friend. (Have I mentioned that I have known him longer than his owner? LOL)

Today I took a ride with Iina, the lovely Friesen mare I have written about before as well. Her owner had asked me for a good trotting session - and so I did. I do not know which one swetted more, me or the horse - but a good guess would be the former one...

Now I am back to work. I spend some time on the computer, waiting for the kids to sleep tight. Then it is time to tackle the chores, cleaning and baking tonight. And I must remember to turn all the clocks in the middle of the night, as the winter is "officially" over and the whole country will enter SUMMER TIME this night!

vaihdoista

2008-03-24T23:38:00.005+02:00

Ennen Pääsiäistä ehti minulle tulla myös pakettivaihdon tavarat. Ihania tarroja yms. kasapäin, IHANA organza-tyyppinen nauha sekä ylisöpö vaaleanpunainen "pussi-pupu". Karkkiakin oli ja ne syötiin heti. Ehdin jo osan tavaroista käyttää, enkä innoissani muistanut niitä edes kuvata. :/ Mutta koetan jotain saada vielä pelastettua sillä saralla.

Mutta nyt sain vihdoin kamerasta ulos pääsiäskorttivaihdon kuvan, olkaapa hyvät! Taustalla näkyy siis Lotta ja pikkuisen Beniä, jotka omaa postiaan haistelevat...

PÄÄSIÄISKORTTI vaihto

2008-03-19T10:12:00.004+02:00

Jihaa! Eilen tuli pääsiäiskorttivaihdon kortti postilaatikkoon. Olin niin innoissani, että availin kuorta samalla, kun kävelytin koiria - kiire kun oli töihin. :) Tosi suloinen 3D-kortti iitaliinilta!! Alkoipa päivä paistaa muutoinkin kuin taivaalta (sattui olemaan aurinkoinen päivä) ja hymy hiipi suupieliin. KIITOS IITALIINILLE!!

Otin jo kuviakin, mutta jostain syystä tietokone nyt temppuilee, eikä muka tunnista tuttua laitettaan. Tänään en ehdi asialle mitään tehdä, mutta ehkä huomenna. Siihen saakka joudutte jännityksellä odottamaan, että pääsette ihailemaan korttiani täällä. :)

En tee mitään pakollista-päivä

2008-03-17T15:26:00.006+02:00

Se on sitten talviloman viimeinen päivä ja päätin olla todella tekemättä yhtään mitään -mutta eihän se ihan ole onnistunut. :) Ne askartelukaapit, jotka mainitsin viime kerralla, saivat minusta voiton - jäävät siis sekasorron valtaan. Sen sijaan olen tänään askarrellut vaihtoihin juttuja ja muutaman muunkin turhuuden. Kävin postissa ja aion kaverille koiria juoksuttamaan. Olen onnistunut luomaan sekasorron äsken vielä niin siistiin kämppäämme ja illalla on PAKKO siivota jäljet. Mutta juuri nyt kieltäydyn sitä ajattelemasta.

Innolla odottelen mainitsemieni vaihtojen "tulosta" - eli minulle tulevaa korttia ja pakettia. Pakettini vastaanottajana oli vaihdon "emo", jolta toivon saavani palautetta - sillä, uskokaa tai älkää, kahdeksaan laskeminen on oikeastaan aika vaikeaa. :) Jos kiinnostaa, mihin vaihtoon oikein olen tunkenut, niin vilkaisehan nämä sivut. Korttia ja pakettia ängin mukaan vaihtamaan. On kiva taas saada kädet liima- ja maalitahraisiksi, sillä askartelu on ihanan rentouttavaa. Motivaatio on ollut pitkään hukassa, mutta ehkä se tässä vähitellen taas löytyy...

Ja loppuun vielä vanha suomalainen sananlasku, joka sopii kaikille meille, jotka tapaamme hukata tavaroitamme, emmekä löydä niitä, vaikka ne ovat nenämme alla: "Ota silmä käteen ja kato."

OHO!

2008-03-15T14:43:00.006+02:00

Kylläpä tuo aika menee hurjaa vauhtia. Olen ollut talvilomalla viime viikonlopusta saakka, mutta kiirettä on tuntunut riittävän. Ai, että mitä olen tehnyt? Jaa-a. Hyvä kysymys. :) Äitini oli täällä seuranani alkuviikon ja meillä on tehty se "joulusiivous", joka viime jouluna jäi väliin. Pyykkikasa on kadonnut ja kukat ovat saaneet uuden mullan. Roopen raahattua kolme kirjahyllyllistä kirjoja ja kaksi isoa CD-hyllyllistä levyjä kellariin, on koti aivan oudon tilava ja siisti. Itse olen keskittynyt kaappeihin ja saanut siivottua oman, Roopen ja yhteiset vaatekaapit. Työn alla on eteisen kaapisto sekä minun askartelukaappini. Voi olla, että viimeisimpänä mainittu saa minusta yliotteen ja jää kuin jääkin osin tekemättä... Mutta katsotaan! Muutama päivä töitä on loman jälkeen ja sitten taas useampi vapaapäivä. Olispa aina näin vähän töitä ja tulis silti kunnolla palkkaa. :) ...toisaalta... lapsia meinaa jo tulla ikävä.

Lotta rääpii koko ajan syliin ja tärisee sekä kantaa palloaan joka paikkaan mukana hoitaen sitä... Eli kevät ja juoksuaika on selvästi tulossa. Sitä odotellessa tämä aika tässä meilläkin kuluu. Siis kevättä. :) Täytyy muistaa jättää tyttö kotiin tallille mentäessä - siellä on nimittäin oikein mukava sulhasehdokas, mutta pentuja tuskin tähän tilanteeseen meillä kukaan kaipaa - paitsi Lotta.

Loma on siis sujunut suunnitelmien mukaan, tekemällä paljon ei mitään. Tallilla oon pari kertaa käynyt kääntymässä ja kerran ihanalla laukkalenkillä Hempan kanssa (kiitos Annen, kun pyysi/ehdotti). Nyt aion jatkaa samalla linjalla ja siirtyä lokoilemaan sohvalle ja surffaamaan netissä, kun Roope tuossa vieressä soittelee bassoa ja katselee hiihtokisoja. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Levollisia päiviä kaikille teille, ystäväni ja vieraani.

AI NIIN!! Pääsin mukaan pariin vaihtoon - joten niihin liittyen tulen tänne jotakin vielä laittamaan. Kivaa, sillä pitkästä aikaa tuli askartelumotivaatiota!

One more day...

2008-03-07T07:43:00.003+02:00

Just this one more day at work and then long awaited winter break - 10 days off work. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I love the kids at work. However, I have felt the need for a real break for a while. Some extra sleep and time of doing nothing, sounds like a perfect holiday to me right now. :)

Last night I dreamt so many dreams and kept waking up all the time that I feel like I did not sleep at all... So, I won't write too much now, out of such tired mind, nothing much worth saying comes out...

Rakkaita toisilleen, rakkaita minulle.

2008-03-04T09:35:00.007+02:00

My dear husband, Roope, and our "multibreed" dog, Lotta love to nap together. I just love them both!

-Quote-

2008-03-02T21:51:00.003+02:00

"Wherever you go,
there you are."

Yeah... deep... :D and YES, I am tired. Glad you stopped by, but there is nothing much to see...

Karkauspäivä

2008-02-29T18:06:00.003+02:00

Pakkohan tänne tällaisena päivänä on jokin merkintä tehdä, kun seuraavan kerran vasta neljän vuoden päästä on helmikuussa 29 päivää...

Tuntuu, että PITKÄSTÄ aikaa istuskellaan Roopen kanssa molemmat kotosalla. Mukavaa olla yhdessä, vaikkei mitään kummallista tehdäkään. Täydet pisteet aviomiehelle, joka ehdotti päivän työnjaoksi sellaista, että hän siivoaa ja minä laitan ruokaa. Oli muuten mukava syödä suht siistissä ympäristössä hyvää ruokaa! Eikä hullumpaa ollut sekään, että pöydällä komeilee melko suuri puna-keltainen tulppaanikimppu! :) Koiratkin ovat onnesta mykkyrällä, kun kaikki ovat "pesässä".

Tulin siis eilen Helsingistä, jossa kävin viimeistä kertaa koulutuksen merkeissä - eli nyt on kaikki opiskelu takana ja olen "omillani" sensomotorista kuntoutusta suunnitellessani ja tehdessäni. Työpaikalla ollaan jo muutama kuukausi täydellä teholla näitä "sensoja" tehtykin ja jonkinlaista tulostakin on nähty. Itse yritän pitää suuta soukemalla, kun olen näkevinäni jonkinmoista edistystä, mutta mukavaltahan se tuntuu, kun muutkin asian huomaavat ja kommentoivat...!

Koirat viihtyvät Helsingin matkani aikana Annella hoidossa. Lihapullissa on muuten kummaa voimaa! Beni kuulema oppi juoksemaan itse pihahäkkiin (mihin sitä on välillä aika pakolla saanut raahata...). Kun Anne otti lihapullapussin käteen, meni Beni ovelle odottamaan ja päästyään pihalle, juoksi suoraan häkkiin - jopa itse tassulla häkin portin avaten, jos se ei ollut salvassa. :D Lotta on kuulema juossut kuin aropupu Annen dobberin, Lolan, kanssa, joten ei lienee kummallista, että meillä on täällä raukean rauhallista koiraväkeä.

Huomisesta alkaa seitsemän päivän työputki (tai yksi on "VP", mutta sinä päivänä on laatukäsikirjan työstöä töissä muutama tunti, joten ei se vapaa ole...), jonka jälkeen on TALVILOMA! Kymmenen päivää vapaata. JEE! Tavoitteena on tehdä tosi paljon ei mitään, nukkua, nauttia päivistä ja levätä. Äiti tullee kyllä käymään ja tallilla olis kiva kääntyä - ja ehkä vähän pyykkivuortakin pienentää, mutta muuten en suostu vapaatani vielä ohjelmoimaan. Lepoa tässä tuntuukin jo kaipaavan. Ne, jotka meidän tilanteista tietävät, ymmärtänevät. :)

Unable to share true thougts

2008-02-23T21:09:00.005+02:00

Let's just say that the title says it all. I cannot share all things here - you know, in real life, there are things that just cannot be shared to un-controlled group of people. Right now, one of those kind of things is going on in our life. Sure, relatives and friends, you can always ask, and I will tell you more. However, I do not want to risk all the world (yea, right, as if THAT many people read this!!) knowing our most painful and personal experiences. :)

However, let me share the most amazing thing. Even in the deep and personal affliction, there is a Hand that holds us. As I was sitting and waiting for this one thing to come to pass, a thought came to my mind, "Romans 8:28". Sure, having been to Bible College and all, I SHOULD have remembered that, but I did not. I had no clue what it said .(I AM a bit ashamed to admit that...) When I finally got the time to check it out, it was a comforting, encouraging verse.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."

I must admit that it had the power to squeeze a few tears into my eyes... No matter what, He knows what we are going through and nothing can come to our lives without our Father knowing or allowing it.

I hope you will not be affended by the next "motto", but again, I have to admit, it is SO TRUE...

Life, at times, is just a pile of dung.
But that happens to be the very best fertilizer
as God is in process of growing a
garden of roses...

That nasty substance will never become anything beautiful in itself, yet if there is a rose growing in a fertile ground, God will do a miracle and it will end up bringing even more beautiful growth to what He is doing. I guess I just have to trust. Otherwise there would be no sense in life at all.

The ordinary life

2008-02-21T16:53:00.005+02:00

I am having a day off and have spent most of it, so far, scrapbooking (digital)... I found some old photos that my dad had taken when he was visiting us with my brother, naphew, and niece. This photo of Milla caught my eye and I just had to scrap it. She is so cute, walking deep in her thoughts...

Somethimes the most ordinary things and moments pass by without us even noticing them. And seeing those would be most extraordinary. Like this photo, for example. She is just walking. But when the moment was captured on film, it is able to trigger deep thoughts - at least in me.:)

I just wanted to post it here.

... will be back later!

Back to work

2008-02-20T19:09:00.006+02:00

After ten days of intense pain and myriad of painkillers - and translating another article on scitsofrenic familes - I finally got back to work. Still am not able to walk or move without pain, however, I manage to get myself to one place from another without having a grin on my face.

That's not the most interesting news in our lives, even if I cannot think of much else to share, either. One incident comes to mind, however.

A few days ago Lasse, Roope's friend, was visiting us. The guys were having coffee at the table in a "romantic" candle light. Our cat, Nyyti, rushed to get some loving - and caught fire! Lasse kindly and quickly slapped the fire on the cat's side with his hands and succeeded in estinquishing it - you may just guess what a smell filled our home! Burning fur is not among my favorite fragrances. :) Lucky cat, her fur is much thicker than is that of the other ones, plus Lasse had good reflexes. After the initial shock we had a good laugh from it!

In the photo here you can see Nyyti having a nap - ready with her cell phone, just in case she has to make an emergency call...

Whatever! I'll get back to you all later...

P.S. Someone asked about Beni's background. I do not know all, but have been told some things. However, he is originally named Smooth Breeze Last of Dragons, and you can find the kennel's pages here: http://smoothbreeze.shows.it/

Quick post

2008-02-15T09:42:00.004+02:00

Hi there!

Just in case someone DOES read my blog and worries about me... :) I got the results of the x-ray and no bones are broken- That's really good news, as it means I should be up and running just in a week or two. Bad news is that it does not lessen my pain at all...

No whining here, now! Things are going ok. This morning Roope came home from work and was in a good mood, he took the dogs out and made me some coffee, so I got out of bed happy (instead of my normal morning-mood, which is NOT so happy...) and ready to catch up with the translation work. Which I must go back to NOW.

I'll be posting more later, maybe something wise then...

Have a great day - and even the Valentine's is over, love your dearest ones even today!!!

Sticks and stones can break your bones...

2008-02-11T11:43:00.001+02:00

Weird thing happened - the Blogger has been telling me for a couple of days that my e-mail address does not exist... Today I finally got it working. So, here I am again.

Now to this day. I might have broken rib bones... We were dragging an old sleigh (do not ask more!) with a friend and my feet slipped and I fell down hitting my ribs on the single large stone that was peaking through icy snow. In addition, I felt my brain (YES! I HAVE BRAIN!!) shaken and most likely had also a minor concussion. Just my luck! This was yesterday. My friend drowe us home with our chevy van (she was not too happy, as she had never driven one before), I took some medicine that Roope got to be used after his surgery... and went to bed.

This morning I tried to get a doctor's appointment... and did not get one until WEDNESDAY. So, now I am off the work on my own notice only. I could have gone to see the nurse, but I feel too sore to move around too much, so I just wait. However, the fact is that it does not matter too much whether I broke the bones or just hit myself hard - rest and pain killers are the only means to help. The length the healing takes is the only variable.

Ok, BEFORE the sleigh-incident we had spent a night at friend's cottage. THAT was nice. Truly refreshing. Sauna, candle light and fire in the fireplace, dogs running around until they could not stay awake anymore... That was a true break from everyday life.

The picture is of my friend's daughter, Amanda and our briard, Beni. As some of you know, Beni came to us because the previous owners could not handle him and he had bitten people a couple of times. Quite a different dog nowadays, eh? He did not know any children back then, and we still keep a careful eye on him, but look at these two now! He is all different dog!

Salaisuuksista

2008-02-06T11:33:00.001+02:00

Kylläpä salaisuuksien pitäminen onkin vaikeaa! Juuri nyt (ja eilenkin) mielessä pyörii lähinnä kaksi asiaa, joista ei oikein voi puhua kenellekään. Onneksi Roopelta niitä ei tarvitse salata. On vähän vaikeaa tämä bloginkin kirjoittaminen, kun oikeasti ei ole mitään muuta mielessä.

2008-02-05T08:47:00.002+02:00

Olihan väistämätöntä, että tämä runokin piti tänne tunkea, kun kerran olemme molemmat Roopen kanssa töissä Perhekeskus Kaarisillassa... Mielenkiintoinen pieni yksityiskohta työpaikkamme nimessä on, että vaikka keskus onkin kristillinen arvoiltaan, ei tämä runo ollut perustajalle (kuulema) lainkaan tuttu, vaan se hänelle annettiin vasta, kun paikka oli jo nimetty...

Niin, jos siis työpaikkamme kiinnostaa, kokeile www.kaarisilta.net

Ja Jumala sanoi: "Toisille annan toiset askareet,
vaan sinulta, lapseni, tahdon, että kaarisillan teet.
Sillä kaikilla ihmisillä on niin ikävää päällä maan,

ja kaarisillalle tulevat he ahdistuksessaan.
Tee silta ylitse syvyyden, tee, kaarisilta tee,
joka kunniaani loistaa ja valoa säteilee."

Minä sanoin: "He tulevat raskain saappain, multa-anturoin -
miten sillan kyllin kantavan ja kirkkaan tehdä voin,
sitä ettei tahraa eikä särje jalat kulkijain?"

Ja Jumala sanoi: "Verellä ja kyynelillä vain.
Sinun sydämesi on lujempi kuin vuorimalmit maan -
pane kappale silta-arkkuun, niin saat sillan kantamaan.
Pane kappale niiden sydämistä, joita rakastat,
he antavat kyllä anteeksi, jos sillan rakennat.
Tee silta Jumalan kunniaksi, kaarisilta tee,
joka syvyyden yli lakkaamatta valoa säteilee.
Älä salpaa surua luotasi, kun kaarisiltaa teet:
ei mikään kimalla kauniimmin kuin puhtaat kyyneleet."

Aale Tynni: Kaarisilta

ten hours of scitzophrenia

2008-02-02T00:01:00.001+02:00

I have been translating an article A Family Concept of Schitzophrenia for the whole day. My boss needs it for her studies. Interesting stuff and few extra euros, can't complain... except that my wrists hurt. I need a more ergonomical keyboard...

During my intellectual journey into families with schizophrenic member, Roope has been the maid in the house, cleaning some and cooking a wonderful meal. I must admit that I am BLESSED to have such a husband - I know too many families where the husband cannot tell the difference between a broom and a mop. :)

Now that I have challenged my mind the whole day it is the time to hit the bed. Weekend includes two 8 AM to 8 PM sifts, so there will be no trouble thinking what to do with the free time...

Have a nice weekend, all ye who can!

vapaapäivä

2008-01-31T22:33:00.002+02:00

Johan tätä vapaapäivää ehti odotellakin! Olin lievästi sanottuna väsynyt, kun eilen illalla (lue: yöllä) vihdoin pääsin nukkumaan. Töistä pääsin eilen jo puoli kuudelta, kävin hakemassa koirat ja lähdimme Harjun "koirapuistoon". Pihalla pudotin kotiavaimet, enkä niitä pimeässä löytänyt - joten päädyin odottamaan Roopen paluuta Kokkolasta... ja nukkumaan pääsin joskus yhden hujakoilla. Useamman huonosti nukutun yön jälkeen, sammuin kuin saunalyhty kaatuessani sänkyyn. Roope meni vielä kaverin kanssa kahville, enkä mä ole korvakarvaani väräyttänyt, kun ukko on römistellyt nukkumaan.

Tänään on ohjelmassa ollut nukkumista yli puolenpäivän (Jee! siis yli kellon ympäri koisailin!!!), jonka jälkeen suuntasin tallille. Hemppahömpän kanssa köpsyteltiin Harjuun, jossa Amanda kokeili liinan päässä ensimmäistä laukkaansa Hempalla. Poikaa olis juoksuttanut sen jälkeenkin vielä kovasti. Ampikin varmasti ymmärsi, miksi äitinsä ei vielä päästä Hemulla laukkaamaan pitkiä Kytösuoria... :)

Mä ratsastin sitten pojan takaisin talliin. Istuskelin pinteleitä käärimässä karsinassa, kun Hömppä söi heiniään. Ikävä kyllä olin luvannut tulla kotia suht ajoissa, joten kamalan kauan ei ehtinyt herkistellä.

Huomenna pitää aloittaa kiireellä pomolle lupaamani käännöstyöt - joten nukkumista pitänee harkita ennen kuin kello kiepsahtaa huomisen puolelle. Tällaista tänään, huomenna muuta.

Huomista odotellessa...

2008-01-28T23:15:00.001+02:00

Jottei tulisi vapaa-ajan ongelmia, niin on ilmeisen erinomaista, että töitä riittää.Tässä vielä hetken valvon, kun Roope tuli uppopalloa pelaamasta ja vaihdetaan kuulumisia. Huomenna aamulla puoli yhdeksältä töihin tekemään porukalla laatukäsikirjaa puoleenpäivään. Sitten käyn kotona kääntymässä ja menemme Roopen kanssa molemmat töihin kahdesta kymmeneen. Koira rassut saavat täällä nyhjöttää... pakko yrittää sitten illalla kunnolla lenkittää.

Iguaani-Waltteri(ina) on muuten pitkän paaston jälkeen alkanut syödä. Tyttöhän tuo näyttää olevan, sillä tänä vuonna oli selvästi munia masussa. En nyt oikein tiedä olisiko pitänyt hakea hormoonipiikkiä, ku en ole varma saiko se ne alut piilotettua turpeeseen... No, ainakin sille nyt ruoka maittaa. :) Mukava otushan se on, vaikka monen mielestä aika hurjan näköinen. Mutta on siinä jotakin kummallisella tavalla suoloista, kun se kököttää ja näyttää melkeinpä hymyilevän... Kuvassa otus muuten kököttää toooodella sotkuisessa vessan räkissä - ekaa kertaa tuli syliin ja lämpöiseen wc-suihkuhuoneeseen katselemaan ympäristöä. :)

leave some love - blogin kommentointi

2008-01-27T16:44:00.001+02:00

It has come to my knowledge by a couple of friends that they did not know how to post a comment. (I love to read them, tells me that YOU are here) I doubt this will add too much traffic, however, if you wish to comment something, you need to go to the individual post by clicking the title. Then you'll find post comments -link in the bottom. So, go ahead and comment!

Muutama tuttu valitteli, etteivät osanneet kommentoida blogiteksteihin. Koskapa olisi aivan ihanaa lukea viestejä juuri SINULTA, niin kerronpa kuinka se tehdään. Löytääksesi post comments -linkin, pitää sinun klikkaaman yksittäisen tekstin otsikkoa, jonka jälkeen viestin perästä löytyy oikea linkki. Joten eikun kokeilemaan!!

nightriders

2008-01-26T23:46:00.001+02:00

It was an amazing evening on horseback. We left for a ride with a friend. She rode her Finnish Draft and I had another friend's Friesen mare. Sun was still up as we left, riding through a woods and cantering in snow on straight trails roads. As we slowed down and took the long walk (and a bit of trot) home, the sun set and the stars began spotting the sky. It was one of those moments that can never been explained. And no words were needed as we rode back to the stables.

The photo down here is of Iina, the horse I rode tonight, from last summer. It is originally from www.luomansuu.fi pages.

Yötyö

2008-01-26T01:20:00.001+02:00

Täällä töissä sitä taas ollaan, aikaa kuluttamassa. Talossa nukkuu suloisia lapsia muutama (tarkempi lukumäärä on vaitiolovelvollisuuden alaista, vaikka talon paikkaluvun voi kyllä nettisivuilta käydä katsomassa) ja minulla on vielä vessojen pesut edessä, ennen kuin saan vain odotella aamua.

Tänään olen taas iloinnut mukavasta työtoverista (on niitä muitakin mukavia, mutta yhden kanssa oltiin samassa vuorossa) ja pohtinut sitä, miten joidenkin kanssa on vaan heti niin helppo tehdä töitä. Tämä kyseinen henkilö tuli taloon harjoittelua tekemään ja minä olin hänen "vastuuhenkilönsä" talon puolesta. Jo ensimmäisen tapaamisen jälkeen tuli sellainen olo, että tässä on loistotyyppi. Joku minua varoitteli tekemästä liian hätiköityjä päätöksiä, mutta minkäs teet, kun oli jo tehty. :) Enkä sitten muuten ollut väärässä.

Roope jäi kotiin koirien ja kissojen kanssa. Olivat käyneet joella tänään juoksentelemassa sillä aikaa, kun minä istuskelin huoltoaseman kahvilassa Päven (ken tietää kenestä puhun, tietää) kanssa. Ystävät ovat muuten eri mukava asia!

Unohdin tänään mennä laulutunnille, mikä vähän harmitti. Onhan laulunopettajani todella mukava ja hyvä - ja tunnin jälkeen tuntuu kurkussa hyvältä, kun on ääntä availtu ja jumpattu.

Luin tuossa muuten Lapsen Maailma- lehteä. Siellä Lapset Juttusilla palstalta löytyi taas helmi. Kyllä lapset tietää!!

-Pitää levätä, että jaksaa tehdä sitten taas kaikkia arjen töitä, Severi sanoo.
- Lepo on tarpeellista siksikin, ettei tule mustia silmänalusia, Sandra-Sofia tietää.

So, now I can't sleep...

2008-01-23T01:33:00.001+02:00

This is just amazing... Roope and I dared to share a dream we have with someone - and that person had something to say about it that did not only confirm that we are dreaming Godly dreams, but left us astonished and speechless. (Quite rare for me, eh...) What we heard was something that we could have never thought of, never expected - yet now that we heard it, it makes perfect sense. I wish I could share about it a bit more... but I cannot. Some things need to have the time to grow in secrecy before they are born in public. This is one of those.

Maybe one day I will share about a wonderful thing that is happening in our life - and we can look back to this day - and you with us - and remember that this was the day when God really took us by surprise.

pieni ajatus

2008-01-21T13:42:00.001+02:00

Miksi ihmeessä niin usein haetaan syyllistä tapahtumille, kun oikeasti pitäisi etsiä syytä?

2008-01-20T00:57:00.001+02:00

Oooh... how I wish I could tell EVERYONE a few selected things that really annoy me!!! Unfortunately I have signed a contract that I will not tell ANYone, so I just have to keep silent. :) Surely you understood that something at work BOTHERS me... but that is all I can say. If you just knew!!! :D

So, I cannot tell you what this is all about, but surely I can share this FEELING... You know, sometimes it feels like one should do everything by oneself, so that things could go fine. It never stops amazing me how unfair people are to each other, to those with whom we should be on the same side. I just hate to see dishonesty and guilt-finding, when there is no reason for that, really.

Oh, do not get me wrong. I really DO like to work where I do. I cannot think of any other place where I'd rather work (only if I was REALLY rich, I would have a few ideas what else to do...), however people are people even there... And if you INSIST honesty, I must admit (even if I do not like to do so) that I am no saint either.

Well, to kick this to the lighter side, let me ask you to take a look at a scrapbook page. I do not know who has the rights for the photo, but I just loved it - and felt I HAD to make a page with a childhood joke on it...

Another day gone by...

2008-01-19T00:45:00.001+02:00

The day was mainly work... I came home about 6.30 PM and then we left for friends' house. They moved to Lapua just about a week ago. (Too bad I did not start this blog a bit earlier - I could have bragged about how we cleaned up the whole apartment before they moved in...) Suvi had made some really good food (THANKS!!) and I loved especially the turnip slices.

Suvi's husband, Jussi, is one of Roope's best friends - and in the same band with Roope (www.vipmetal.net). Their younger daughter, Meeri Mimosa, is our God-daughter. She is six months old now - having been born two months early. I need to check with the parents if it's ok to post a picture of her here...

This "God-child"-thing in our lives never stops amazing me. Let me share a bit about this.

First, my brother and his wife asked me to be the other of their son's (the first of their children) God-mother back when Roope was not part of my life. I had to join back into the Lutheran church so that I could accept the honor. Funny thing is that I was allowed to join even I told straight forward that this was the only reason for joining and that I would leave church afterwards... Some say I am too honest, but it seems to work. :)

My second God-daughter is the first we share with Roope. We actually got to know her when she was three years old. She has not been baptized as a baby and had no-one chosen as God-parents. However, when she talked with her friends at daycare, she told everyone that we are her God-parents. :) How could we have not accepted such a request (demand...?)?

This third one then... she had her dedication past and gone already when Suvi and Jussi started to talk with each other that they should have asked someone to be her God-parents. (great communication here, friends!!! LOL) So they asked us and we gladly accepted.

To make a long story short, we are blessed with these three God-children and feel privileged. And the thing that never stops amazing me - how do people want us to be such important adults in their children's lives?

About the pic... The little guy in my arms is my nephew and Godson, Mikko. - - - and I am too lazy to edit the pic and remove the white background... :)

Scrapbooking

2008-01-17T22:38:00.002+02:00

My husband is getting mad at me... Not really, but not far from it, I guess. I seem to spend all my free time with my computer... I've gone nuts about Digital Scrapbooking. If you wish to check it out, take a look at www.scrapbookflair.com/PetRaP and you'll find my scraps.

Making pages is fun, of course, but one of the greatest things is OWNING beautiful papers and elements (can get those for free around the i-net) and having them stored on a hard drive and NOT having to ORGANIZE all those into drawers and closets. :)

I made the page on top of this entry for my brother's daughter as she turned one year. Those who know how great I am at mailing stuff understand that being able to send personal birthday cards through e-mail is of a tremendous value for me. Therefore, before I forget: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES THIS YEAR!!! :)

Keskiviikkoiltaa...

2008-01-16T22:54:00.001+02:00

Meinaa tässä väsyttää. Tänään oli aamulla töissä palaveri, jossa avasin jälleen suuren suuni ja sanoin ääneen eräästä asiasta, mistä monet ovat puhuneet. Toivottavasti tässä ei nyt käy niin, että sen saa tuntea nahoissaan... Mutta en mä jaksa sitäkään, että ollaan hiljaa ja kyräillään. Nyt ei onneksi ollut niin hirveän suuresta asiasta kyse.

Illalla kävin ratsastamassa sekä Hempalla että Iinalla (www.luomansuu.fi) ja mukavaa oli, vaikka vettä tihkuttikin.

Valokuvaajia löytyi muuten muitakin, kuten yllä olevasta kuvasta voinee arvata. Tim Flachistä pyörii pätkä AnimalPlanetilla ja googlasin kaverin netistä. Jotkut kuvat ovat niin upeita, että meinaa itku tulla, kun niitä katsoo. Mahtavaa, kertakaikkiaan! Suosittelen hänenkin sivujaan!!

Amazing photos

2008-01-15T19:24:00.002+02:00

Having slept all day after working all night, I ended up wasting my time with computer. Roope went to help our friends to fix their car and he will work for another night still...

I bumped into amazing work of a photographer called Gregory Colbert. His work is breathtaking - humans and animals together, no collages, but real thing. Google him, a sure facination guaranteed!

Kello kolme aamuyöllä

2008-01-15T03:07:00.001+02:00

Järkevää touhua tämä minulla... Kello on kolme aamuyöllä, istun töissä koneella, enkä saa ajatuksiani kasaan - eli tehtyä työtehtäviä. Pakko olisi saada muutama kirjallinen työ valmiiksi, mutta taitaa mennä kotona tekemisen puolelle... Kaiken lisäksi aloittelen blogin tekemistä.

Nimen keksiminen oli oma juttunsa - mutta ken tuntee minut ja perheemme, osannee yhdistää blogin otsikon sukunimeemme, eikä suinkaan alkoholijuomaan.

Katsellaan nyt sitten, tuleeko tästä blogista suomen- vai englanninkielinen, tai vaikkapa molempia. Ja mitä ihmettä mä tänne kirjoittelen? Ja lukeekohan kukaan tätä koskaan? Kaikki jää nähtäväksi.

Mieli on vähän matalalla, vaikka tänään käytiinkin tapaamassa rakasta ystävääni, Jannaa. Kiukuteltiin ukon kanssa toisillemme ja siitä jää aina vähän nuhjuinen olo, vaikka kaikki onkin jo sovittu. Lisäksi olen onnistunut kehittämään itselleni ikävän, kun pari kuukautta vuokraamani hevonen, BaltEmir, lähti kevääksi ratsastuskouluun kuntoa kohottamaan. Juuri, kun poika oli alkanut hörähdellä minulle jo kaukaa...